Inside My Head
by The Wandering Fool
Summary: He didn't care if the world thought he was a monster, or even if he thought it himself - but not her. Anyone but her. Rated M for some of the bloodier scenes. GaaraxHinata. [on hiatus]
1. Chapter 1

**Inside My Head**

**A/N: **So I thought I'd try my hand at a GaaraxHinata fic. Updates will be pretty slow in the beginning, but they'll speed up soon enough. The story is set a few months after the Kazekage Rescue arc. Rated M just in case, for possible violent/dark scenes and what not. Here goes nothing.

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

* * *

_Everywhere he looked, there was blood._

_It seeped into the dusty streets of Sunagakure, a deep red stream that lazily crept further and further across the ground, infecting everything in its path. It was there on the beige walls of the old, broken building, smeared onto the stone by the hands of those who had tried to survive, of those who had tried to escape him. It was in the sand that swirled around him, thick and dark, turning the once fine grains into thick congealed globs that hung wearily over his head, framing him in their sinister glow. He could smell it too – a musty, metallic scent that invaded his senses and left a bad taste in his mouth._

_And there was blood on his hands; bright, red, almost pulsing on his fingertips, breathing with the life of those it had belonged to, of those who had tried to run away. It almost felt dry, like it had been there for days, but he could see the way it shimmered against his skin. It was fresh. He raised his trembling fingers into the air, each of his nails been stained a deep crimson, and turned his hand over to watch the droplets slide down his palms._

_No. _

_Not this again._

_He took a step forward, and then another, ignoring the sickening _splat _that came with each step as he walked along this wet, sticky floor. He dragged his fingers along the walls of the building, along the bumps and creases of the dried handprints that decorated the stone, leaving his own mark behind in thin red trails. _

_What was he looking for? He couldn't recall. Did he need to find something, or someone? No, that didn't seem likely. This place was devoid of any sort of life. A way out, then. That seemed like the most probable guess. But where was that? When he looked up, he couldn't see the sky. The ominous black clouds that slowly rumbled by guaranteed that. When he looked forward, there was only red, brown, and more red. When he looked back, it was the same. Was there no end to this carnage?_

_Even though he didn't have a single inkling of where to go, his feet led the way, moving automatically, as though they had traversed this path time and time again. As though they knew something that he should have known as well._

_And then came the laughter. _

_It was cruel, and deafening, and it came from everywhere; a heavy, hearty laugh that sent chills down his spine. His pace quickened – he had to get out of there, he couldn't let it find him, he didn't want it to find him, not again. But still it followed him, growing in volume, louder and louder until he was down on his knees, blood-stained hands clamped down over his eyes and eyes shut tight, trying desperately to block it out, to hide from it._

_But he couldn't, and it found him._

_The beast loomed before him, its mouth contorted into what he could only assume was some sort of smile. He raised his head and watched it lean forward, yellow eyes glowing brightly against the black and brown of its body. Its tail sways left and right behind it – the beast was clearly pleased._

_It shouldn't have been here. _

_They'd taken it away._

_Why had it returned?_

How _had it returned?_

"_You can't run from me," the beast growled in a low, mocking tone. "Haven't you figured that out?"_

_He didn't answer._

"_You've tried enough times," it continued. "Just accept me and start enjoying yourself. You used to be a lot more fun than this."_

_The beast. The blood, all that blood, it was all the beast, wasn't it?_

"_You...you did this, didn't you Shukaku?" His voice sounded small and weak compared to the beast's. He wasn't sure it'd heard him._

_It had._

"_No," it replied, its voice tinted with a gleeful edge. "Their blood is on your hands, Gaara."_

"_No," he said. "I didn't do this." Louder. "This wasn't me."_

"_Of course it was! I couldn't have killed them on my own. Why don't you take a look at them? I'm sure you must remember their faces."_

_Its words opened a floodgate – hundreds of images poured into head, appearing only for the briefest of moments before moving on to the next, all of faces as pale as death themselves, staring at him with glassy, dead, accusing eyes. And he knew them all, remembered them all, he remembered their last moments of life. Why? Why did he recognize them? Ah, that was right. He was the one who killed them all._

"_NO MORE!"_

_He couldn't handle it. But they kept on coming._

_The last one hit him the hardest._

_It was a kind face. Bright eyed with the warmest smile he had ever known. The warmest lie he had ever known. He could still recall the moment he'd learnt he'd been betrayed, the moment he'd learnt everything had been fake. _

_The moment he'd taken his first life. _

_And then it was over._

"_This is their blood, Gaara," Shukaku said, sweeping his tail lightly across the ground. "You enjoyed spilling it, didn't you? You savoured each and every second. I remember – I was there."_

_That was wrong._

_Wasn't it?_

"_You can't pin the blame on me. You killed them. Slaughtered them! And you still want to continue, don't you? There's a hunger in you just waiting to be satisfied."_

_No._

"_No!" He'd finally found his voice again. "That was all because of you! I will __**never**__ take an innocent life again!"_

"_You say it like you're certain, but another part of you is thinking something completely different. You know it, don't you? The part of you that conjured me up in this hell-hole you call a head."_

"_You're wrong," he argued. He couldn't let Shukaku do this to him again._

_He wouldn't._

_The beast was gone. He'd never have that craving again. That craving to hurt people. To kill. He knew better now. He'd changed._

_Right?_

"_Look around you, Gaara. I didn't make this place – you did. Nobody can run from what's inside their head. What makes you any different? You're stuck with this part of you – no, you're stuck with __**me**__ for the rest of your life."_

_And then the beast began to laugh, and he fought to ignore it, fighting his way up, up into the air, the clouds, the sky, fighting as hard to awaken from this nightmare as he'd fought so many nights before._

* * *

He awoke with a start, breathing heavily, small beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. How long had he managed to sleep this time? It had to have been longer than the night before. Letting his eyelids fall shut once again, he ran a shaking hand through his bright red locks, trying his hardest to steady his breathing. Damn it! He'd lost track of just how many times he'd woken up in this state. He should've been used to it by now, but it seemed like each night was worse than the last.

He opened his eyes and glanced to the right, searching for the clock that hung beside his window. His vision was well adjusted to the dark by now; he found the light fabric that acted as a curtain, and beside it there was the clock, its hands in almost the exact same position they'd been when he'd gone to sleep.

It read 1:00am.

So he'd lasted for half an hour. It figured. That dream had been one of the most intense yet – he wasn't surprised he'd wanted out so quickly. This dream had been so _real_. The colours, the smells, the tiniest details, everything had been so vivid. Normally he'd grit his teeth and brave it out if only to get a few more hours of sleep. This time was different, though. This time it had been too much for him to bear.

Letting out a loud groan, he slumped back down onto his futon and angrily rubbed the last remnants of slumber out of his eyes. Once more another night had been ruined by one of his nightmares. How many had he had since Shukaku's removal a few months before? He didn't know. He'd lost count after the first twenty-seven.

After everything that had happened, he'd felt like things just might start looking up for him. He'd thought that he might just have a chance at a fresh start. Even though he'd changed greatly since the Chuunin exams in Konoha, there had always been that place deep within his soul that Shukaku still controlled, that part of him that believed his only purpose in life was to kill. Now, even though it had come at a great cost, he was finally free of that wretched voice inside his head. Without Shukaku there, he could be normal, right? Well, as normal as he possibly could be, anyway. And best of all, he could sleep.

Years of insomnia had deadened him completely to the practice. Sleep had never been a normal ritual of his; it was a completely foreign idea. He'd never been able to just let his guard down like that. How could he? If he slept, the beast took over. But the beast was gone, and that was all done for. He was free.

At least, that's what he'd thought in the beginning.

And then the dreams started.

It wasn't so bad at first. Sure, there had been a few disturbing images here and there, bits and pieces of memories long forgotten or ignored, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. As the days passed, they began to grow more violent, tormenting him with whatever his subconscious decided to dredge up that evening. Progressively it kept on getting worse and worse, and then before he knew it the damned tailed-beast had returned and every night in his head became one non-stop horror show. He had bruises from where he'd slammed into the ground while trashing around in his sleep, and tiny scratches along his arms which had appeared out of nowhere.

Gaara knew it wasn't real. He truly, truly did. He knew that some part of his guilty, deluded psyche had decided it would be fun to torment him with the things he'd done in the past, and that taking on the face of Shukaku would be the cherry on top.

The one thing that he wanted to do the most was change. He wanted to leave his former homicidal self behind and become someone better, someone worthy of leading the people of Suna. Ever since the day he'd been set free from all of his hatred, he hadn't killed a single innocent person. Not one.

But he was anchored to his past, and the enthusiasm he had known before had dwindled over time. Now he wasn't even certain whether or not he had changed at all, or if he was even able to.

"Gaara?"

The voice startled him. His eyes swivelled towards the doorway, and there he spotted Temari in her favourite pair of pyjamas, her blonde hair hanging down her shoulders instead of in its normal four-ponytail style. Had she knocked? He wasn't sure. He'd been so wrapped up in his thoughts that for a second the world had ceased to exist.

"Are you okay?" she asked, deciding to take a step into the room, wary of whether or not her brother would want her to come in.

He could only stare at her for a minute before he remembered he had to answer. "I'm fine," he said. The words were like sandpaper on his tongue. _Well, not really, _he thought. But he certainly wasn't planning to tell her that. He'd managed to keep his problems to himself the entire time, and that wasn't about to change now. Temari, Kankuro, neither of them could know about this. Not yet, anyway. He couldn't exactly brag about being able to keep it under wraps – already the two had begun to show clear signs of suspicion. Either way, he definitely wouldn't be giving them any confirmation. He would get everything under control sooner or later, and then there would be no need to tell them anything. His siblings deserved better than having to constantly take care of their little brother. He wanted to be the one to take care of them this time. He wanted to make it up to them for all of his past mistakes.

"You didn't sound like you were fine earlier," she said pointedly. "I could hear you yelling in your sleep, Gaara. You sound terrified. I almost thought something was trying to eat you alive."

Damn. Had he really been yelling again? "...Sorry about that. Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't matter. I'm worried about you, you know. This has been going on way too long. Don't look at me like that, you know it's true. You need to talk to someone. Me, Kankuro, anyone, really!"

_I can't, _he sighed inwardly, trying to avoid her gaze. _I don't want you to worry about me. Let me handle this on my own._

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm fine. It was just a bad dream, that's all." Her eyes were full of disbelief. "Serious, I must've eaten something weird. But that's not important – you should be thinking about yourself, Temari. It's late, you should be asleep."

"What about you?"

"I'll get up for a bit. I have some paperwork I need to finish."

He fell silent, unwilling to say anything more. She took the hint and exhaled loudly. "Alright, then, Gaara. Just promise me you'll try to get some sleep tonight."

"I promise," he said, if only to appease her. She didn't look convinced at all, and was almost about to complain, but something in his expression made her decide it would be better to leave it alone. Giving him a small wave, she left the room, shutting the door softly behind her.

Well, that could've gone worse. At least she'd given up quickly. It wasn't for a lack of trying, though. Both she and Kankuro had tried time and time again to get him to talk to them. Sometimes they came up with sneaky, elaborate plans, and other times they decided to just ask him outright, but the end result was always the same. He simply wouldn't budge.

Now that he was awake, maybe he would get some work done. Or he could eat. Possibly even read a book. Anything was better than trying to sleep.

Insomnia had never looked so good before.

* * *

"Kankuro."

"Hmm?"

"Get up."

"Grhmmmm."

"Kankuro, I won't say it again. Get up."

"Don't wmmaaant tfoo – OW!"

Swearing under his breath, Kankuro pulled his arms over his head to protect it from any other assaults. He opened an eye just a bit and tried to get a good look at his sister, wondering whether or not he was willing to listen to her. It was dark and he was tired, so it took a while for him to make out her features. The expression on her face told him that she was upset about something, and that she must've woken him up in order to complain about it.

"I'll hit you again," she threatened, waving a fist over his head.

That was enough incentive for him. He wriggled himself into a sitting position, suppressing a loud yawn, afraid that it would only anger the fearsome kunoichi. He'd had enough of her violence for one night.

"I'm up, I'm up," he said, scratching the stubble lining his jaw. "Why is it so dark? What time is it?"

"It's almost a quarter past one," she replied. "Don't even think about complaining. This is important."

"What is?" he asked, rolling his eyes. "You haven't told me anything else."

Oh. Now he was definitely awake. "Did he have another nightmare?"

"Yeah. Did you hear him too?"

"Not tonight. I was out like a light. I heard him yesterday, though. And the days before that. The kid screams so loud that half the time I'm afraid I'll have nightmares of him!"

"Why the hell didn't you get up then?! You should've heard him earlier – it was horrible!"

"I need my rest too! Even if I got up, what good would I do?"

"You could've woken him up! You could have talked to him! Has he told you anything about what's going on?"

"Nothing at all. I have no clue what's wrong with him. Just when he'd started to open up to me and actually trust me, he shuts up completely. Now he won't tell me anything."

"Force him to, then! Persuade him! You're his older brother, for crying out loud! He looks up to you!"

Kankuro snorted derisively. "Since when?!"

"Isn't that just the natural order of things?"

"Not in this family if you haven't noticed. Seriously, Temari, I thought he would get _better_ after those Akatsuki bastards took Shukaku out of him, not worse!"

"I know, I know." That was what they had all expected. Maybe the people of Suna couldn't tell that something was wrong with their Kazekage – which wouldn't be surprising, considering just how well Gaara masked his emotions – but he couldn't hide anything from his family. They'd gotten better at seeing through him. "He did _die_, though. That can't have been a fun experience."

"Do you really think it's just that? I wish he'd just fucking tell us what's bothering him already so that we could actually help him."

"Me too. But he's stubborn. That's what I wanted to talk to you about, though; maybe Gaara needs some time away from Suna and away from all of the responsibilities of being Kazekage."

Her brother considered this for a moment.

"Like a vacation?"

She nodded.

"He'll never agree to that. It's a horrible idea."

Temari scowled at him, and for a second she looked like she was about to rip her poor brother's head off. But luckily for him, she was far too tired to even think about attacking. He had to admit, the idea wasn't so bad. It would do Gaara good if he could spend some time away, but the boy would never agree to it. She knew that. It was just wishful thinking.

"Alright then, how about you figure out what we're going to do," she ordered, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "And come up with something good."

"Let me sleep on it. I'll have a brilliant idea for you in the morning."

"You'd better. G'night."

"Later."

She left his room then, and in under a second Kankuro was back under his sheets, blankets pulled up all the way over his head, giving his futon the appearance of a thick, white cocoon. He didn't know how he would do it, but if there was any possible way to help his brother, he would figure it out. Normally his schemes took a turn for the worst, and he didn't expect anything else he came up with now to turn out any better, but that was just semantics. Whether Gaara wanted to admit it or not, he needed his family. He needed their help. And they were damn well going to be there for him, even if it killed them in the process.

Now if only he could figure out what the hell he was going to tell Temari in the morning.

Oh well.

Sleep first.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Beware of tiny grammatical errors that tend to escape one's notice when one writes chapters late at night.

* * *

"Erm, excuse me? Kazekage-sama?"

Temari watched from the doorway of her younger brother's office as his assistant shuffled the papers in her hands nervously. She'd been standing in front of his desk for almost thirty seconds now, yet he'd still failed to notice her presence. He was staring just to her left, a blank expression on his face, green eyes glazed over. Was he daydreaming? The assistant shifted her weight onto her other foot. How long would that poor woman have to wait for him?

_What could he possibly be thinking about? _Temari wondered. _Is he worried about something? _It was only a guess, but it was the only thing she could come up with that would explain why he was so out of it. _He normally hides his feelings better than this... He did a great job of it earlier._

That morning she'd tried to get her little brother to talk to her again before they'd left their home, bringing up his frequent yells during the night. In response he'd given her a lame excuse about how he could be 'sleep-talking', and it was nothing to fret over. He would try to keep it down so that everyone could sleep in peace. She argued with him, telling him that they were family, he could tell her anything, she only wanted to help him, but her words just bounced right off him.

He'd left their home quickly after that, claiming that he had to get to work as soon as possible – he had meetings to attend, there was no time to sit around and chat. Was he avoiding her? Maybe. Maybe not. She didn't know what to think.

"Did you come up with anything?" she'd asked Kankuro once he came down to get his breakfast.

"Well," he'd said, stretching the word out in a long drawl, "No. Not really. I tried, honestly, but the only thing that I figured might work was getting him hammered so it'd all just slip right out."

She'd rolled her eyes then and given her brother a good solid punch on the head, in the exact same place as the night before. He had good intentions, she knew that, but sometimes he could just be so infuriating! To be fair, she had given him only a couple of hours to brainstorm an idea, most of which he had spent unconscious.

Until they could agree on how they could help him, they'd decided to take turns watching over him that day, just to make sure he was okay. Kankuro had taken both the morning and afternoon shifts. Now she was there to keep an eye on him for the rest of the evening, until he decided to go home.

So far, he had been...well, normal. Gaara had gone to all of his meetings on time, acting like his same-old polite and composed self, not even so much as hinting that something was amiss. While this facade may have worked with his colleagues and the elders, it didn't fool her for one second. No-one else had heard the way he'd screamed the night before. He was hiding what he felt, and it was only a matter of time before she got him to confess everything.

_I might as well help that girl out, first._

"Hey," she called out, striding into the room. The assistant jumped, nearly dropping everything in her arms in the process. "Let me give those to him for you. Why don't you go home? It'll be dark soon."

"Ah, thank you, Temari-sama!" The woman gladly relinquished her duties to Temari, and shot the young kunoichi a grateful smile. "Um, if you don't mind me asking," she lowered her voice, "Is everything alright with the Kazekage?"

"He didn't get much sleep last night; there were a lot of documents for him to go through."

"Oh, I see! He really should take a break - he's been working so hard!"

"I'll make sure he does."

The woman nodded then scurried out of the room. Once she had disappeared down the hallway, Temari walked over to her brother and slammed the papers onto his desk, bringing him back into the real world.

"Ah, hi, Temari," he said, his eyes locking onto hers. "What are you doing here?"

_He didn't even notice me come in? _Swallowing her bewilderment down, she cleared a space on the corner of his desk to sit on. "I just thought I'd stop by and spend some quality time with my little brother. What's going on with you?"

"Paperwork, mostly." He started to sort through the stack of papers she'd put down, leaving her eyes to burn holes through the back of his head.

"Really? You weren't focused on paperwork a few minutes ago. What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"_Nothing_?"

"Yeah."

His tone matched the room's atmosphere – cold, dark, and bleak, without even the slightest hint of life. She fought the urge to grab him by his collar and shake the truth out of him. Sure, if she did that to Kankuro, that tactic would've had him squealing within minutes. Gaara was different.

_When did this happen to him? _This detached, closed-off person wasn't the same person she'd grown used to over the last three years. When they'd returned from Konoha all that time ago, he'd changed. She remembered the first time she saw him smile. She and Kankuro had been arguing about something silly – whose jutsu was better, or something along those lines, and it had resulted in her arm locked in a chokehold around the puppeteer's neck, ordering him to admit she was stronger otherwise she wouldn't let go. Gaara had been sitting on the sofa, reading a book, but he'd stopped mid-sentence to watch their fight. She'd grown bored of Kankuro's futile attempts at removing her arms, and was looking around the room when her eyes met his. That was when she noticed his expression, and the way his lips had curved upwards.

It was a small smile, barely even visible, but it reached his eyes and lit them up with a glow she had only seen once before, when he was a little boy who carried his teddy bear with him everywhere he went. He looked happy. No, he _was_ happy. In that single moment, a mixture of disbelief and jubilation had taken her by surprise, snatching the breath right out of her lungs.

That was the only time Kankuro ever escaped one of her chokeholds.

_What happened to you, Gaara? _she asked him silently. _I want to see your smile again. _She didn't notice him look up at her. Maybe he could see the discontent etched clearly into her face and thought he owed her some sort of explanation. She wasn't as good as him at hiding her emotions. Then again, she had no reason to hide them. He knew how she felt.

"I'm sorry, Temari," he sighed. "I'm just a bit tired, that's all. There's been some unrest in the village; they've been moaning all day about it, but no-one's actually bothered to tell me the specifics."

"...I haven't heard about any of that."

"I figured you hadn't either. They told me we'll all be filled in tomorrow evening. Until then, they're keeping quiet. It makes no sense, but I can't do a thing about it, can I?"

Huh. Maybe he had just been worrying about work today. But that didn't apply to every other night. "There's no point in stressing out about it now, then, is there?" she pointed out. "How about we go home early today? I'll make us something nice for dinner. Whatever you want."

He seemed to consider the idea for a moment. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea, they might still need me here –"

"If any problem comes up, it can wait until after you've eaten and rested," she nearly snapped. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled loudly. "Come on, Gaara. Work with me, here."

He caved in. "...Alright. You should tell Kankuro. I'll go out now, and meet you two back at home."

"Why not just wait for us here?"

"I'd rather have a quite walk. You know, alone. It's been a long day."

"We'll be as quiet as you need us to be."

"But –"

"No buts, Gaara. It's decided. I'm your older sister; at least give me the pleasure of being able to tell you what to do sometimes."

She didn't give him an opportunity to retort, choosing to skip out of the office hurriedly to find their sibling. Knowing Kankuro, he was either hard at work with some of the other officials still at the office, or he was hiding somewhere and avoiding the work he could be doing.

A short-lived search took her not to his workshop but instead to one of the empty offices on the ground floor, where she found him hiding out behind a large wooden desk, reading a book whose cover resembled that of a volume from the _Icha Icha _collection. He was so enthralled with it that he hadn't even acknowledged her presence. A vein began to throb in her temple; was this really the time and place for that?

The heel of her shoe emitted a loud _thwack _as it slammed into the back of his head. He yowled loudly, breaking the silence.

"What the hell, Temari?!" he hissed, dropping his book. Irritated, he shoved her foot away and glared at her. "Stop attacking me, damn it!"

"If you weren't such an idiot I wouldn't have to," she fumed. She stomped her foot down onto the fallen novel so that he couldn't pick it up again. "You can get back to your perverted fantasies once we're at home. I'm making us dinner."

"I thought you were supposed to be spying on Gaara!"

"I am. He's coming home with us."

"Really?" Kankuro was surprised. "He always stays here later than everyone else, though. Ever since he started working again it's been like that. Day and night, he's always functioning."

"Believe me, I know. He told me he was tired, so I convinced him to take a break and come with us."

"Hang on a minute – does this mean you'll actually be making something edible tonight?"

The vein throbbed. "One more word and my shoe goes down your throat."

"Alright, alright. Where is he?"

"Probably waiting for us by the front door, which is why we need to move already! C'mon, I don't want him to leave without us. If we wear him down on the way home, we may finally be able to convince him to open up."

"I still say that if all else fails, loading him up on sake will do the trick."

"Could you _please _take this seriously, Kankuro?" she moaned, folding her arms across her chest. "Your jokes aren't funny."

"I _am_ taking this seriously," he replied earnestly. "Believe me. Honestly, I just don't think this plan of yours is going to work."

"Well, we'll see about that, won't we?" she said, rather displeased by his statement. It wasn't like he'd given her any better ideas! _If all he's going to do is complain then he can keep it to himself, _she thought bitterly. "Let's go."

Tapping her foot impatiently, she waited for him to gather up his things. "Any idea what you're going to say to him?" he asked.

"Who the hell knows. Screw this, I'm leaving without you."

"No, no, hold on, I'm coming!"

Blocking out his pleas, she left the room without him. He cursed her under his breath and ran to catch up with her, impeded by the weight of his bag. She stopped in the middle of the entrance hall and he managed to skid to a halt as well, avoiding the terrible fate of crashing into her. His eyes searched the hall, yet their brother was nowhere to be seen. He raised an eyebrow.

"Hurry up, she says! He'll leave without us, she says, and I rush only to find out that he's not even here. Were you lying to me?"

"No, I wasn't," she said, craning her neck this way and that. Spotting the guard standing by the doors, she realised that he might have seen Gaara.

"Why, yes I did," the guard told them cheerfully when they inquired about their brother. "He went out a couple of minutes ago, told me to tell anyone who asked for him that he'd gone home."

_I can't believe he actually ditched us! _Tuning out Kankuro's snickering, she grabbed him by the collar and started dragging him outside.

"Hey, you don't need to be so rough!" he complained, attempting to pull the fabric out of her iron grip. "I can use my legs!"

"Sorry," she said, releasing him. She folded her arms across her chest, unconsciously digging her nails into her upper arms. "I'm just mad. I told him not to leave, and he completely ignored me!"

"What else did you expect?" Kankuro asked. "He must've known what you were up to. He's pretty annoying like that." He shrugged and dug his hands into his pockets. "You know what? When we catch up with him, I say we should confront him. Let's force the truth out of him. No schemes, no plots, nothing. We won't give him a choice but to fess up."

"We've already tried that before, and it didn't work."

"That's because we kept on giving him space whenever he avoided giving us a straight answer. We're always walking on eggshells around him these days, and clearly, that's done nothing for us. Well, not this time. We'll get _something _out of him, I guarantee it!"

_I hope so, _she thought worriedly. _But it's not only that, Kankuro. Something is really, really wrong with him. He shouldn't be alone right now. He needs us to be there for him, otherwise who knows what might happen._

* * *

There was no moon that night.

There were stars, though. They hung in the pitch-black sky like tiny white beacons, blinking and fluttering ever so softly. A few clouds, barely more than pale wisps, drifted across the sky, urged forward by the same crisp breeze that was ruffling his hair. His eyes were focused on the view above him, yet they saw nothing. If he tried, he could've made out a few of the constellations that shone so clearly; maybe he could've even put a name to them as well.

But he wasn't interested in the stars.

He'd assumed that once the sun was up and he was immersed in work, he'd be able to forget about his dream. After all, he'd done it enough times before to know how this story usually ended.

So why couldn't he get this god damn nightmare out of his head?!

He didn't know how he'd managed to keep his composure that day. Wherever he looked, it was like he was seeing the world in his dream all over again – the blood, the death, the decay, it was all there. He would take in every single horrible detail, and when he blinked, it all disappeared. It was driving him crazy!

When Temari had coerced him into agreeing to dinner with her and Kankuro, he'd known it was a terrible idea. They already suspected something, and he couldn't blame them for that. But he wasn't going to blindly throw himself into a situation where he'd be at their mercy. Generally he was confident in his ability to act as normal as he possibly could around them, but throughout this particular day the long hours spent in the offices had worn him down. He'd left before them in the hopes that by the time they managed to catch up, he'd have long since arrived at home and locked himself in his room, leaving them with no other option but to give up for the night. They were persistent, but persistent wouldn't get them through that door.

_I'll be fine_, he told himself. Well, so long as he didn't succumb to another delusion.

His shoes scraped lightly over the ground, kicking up tiny clouds of dust which clung to his clothes. Somewhere a dog howled; once, twice, and then silence. The buildings he passed he passed were dark and silent, which was odd, considering how early it was. Occasionally he'd pass a few that were lit up, sometimes with voices and music pouring out from the cracks, but he shied away from them to the more quiet streets where there were almost no homes to pass and the only sounds to be heard were his own.

He reached a crossroads and turned right, barely noticing the breeze tugging at the hem of his shirt. The thick fabric that made up his official clothes protected him from the worst of the cold, but already he was beginning to sweat beneath them. Tomorrow he'd wear one of his lighter, more casual outfits. His advisors would disapprove – the clothing apparently aided his 'air' of authority. He didn't care much about his air, always going along with their wishes merely to make them happy. Just for tomorrow, though, he'd listen to himself rather than to anyone else.

Mulling over this mundane problem had distracted him from darker thoughts, and he would've continued to ponder more trivial delights had he a slight shuffling behind him not caught his attention.

_What was that? _Slow, grating, like someone was dragging their feet along the ground. _Is someone there?_ At first he thought it might have been his siblings, but no, that couldn't be right. They'd have revealed themselves a long time ago.

What was going on?

Unsettled, he continued walking as though nothing was out of the ordinary, all the while remaining wary of the noises behind him. The grating had faded away, all he could hear now was the wind in his ears and the flapping of his clothes. A few feet in front of him there was a small, mangy black dog, barely visible against the dark buildings. Its eyes followed his steps, and suddenly it began barking loudly, leaping up and down like it recognized him. He ignored its excited yips, choosing to take longer strides in the hopes that this would entice some sort of reaction from behind him.

It worked. Although it was almost completely drowned out by the dog, he became aware of a light tapping drawing closer and closer to him.

He was being followed.

His sand vibrated irritably in the gourd upon his back, slamming against the walls of its confines. It wanted out. But he couldn't be so quick to react; he didn't want his shadow to know their cover was blown. If they did, there was a good chance they'd run away, and he wouldn't find out who they were, nor why there were following him. No, he needed them to think that they still had the element of surprise.

This went on for about few minutes – it seemed like his shadow was a cautious soul, and did not want to make the first move. Very well. He'd force them into action. Bit by bit, his sand trickled out of his gourd. Minute by minute the stream grew larger – no matter how casually it was done, they must've realised what was going on.

The steps stopped for half a second, only to reappear heavier and louder as the person ran towards him, releasing a mangled cry that he could barely make out to be the words "Die, Kazekage!"

_Thwack! _The shadow's weapon, a long, steel-bladed katana, was blocked by a barrier of sand. He was now able to get a good look at the person who'd been following him; short brown hair that stuck out of his scalp, a jaw covered with stubble and wide, tired eyes. His face was contorted into something of a vicious snarl, lips pulled back over his yellowing teeth. He was practically oozing murderous intent. Gaara had never seen him before.

"Who are you?" he demanded to know. The stalked ignored the question and drew his katana back, attempting another swing. It was blocked with ease. As he barraged Gaara with attacks, the Kazekage realised that this man had virtually no sword skills – it was like someone had given him the weapon the day before and expected him to know how to use it. Sure, the blade was sharp, and by no means did it look like some cheap, run-of-the-mill katana, but in this man's hands it was completely worthless. When the man dove in with a jab aimed at his stomach, Gaara took the opportunity to ensnare him with his sand. Within a few seconds the man was completely encased in sand; only his head was free, but the grains were steadily creeping up his neck.

"Tell me your name," he ordered. The man winced as the sand grew tighter around him. It would be easy to get an answer out of him.

Or so Gaara thought. Instead, the man surprised him by smirking widely and bursting into a fit of hysterical laughter. Puzzled, Gaara took a step back, sand shifting around him uneasily. Something was wrong here.

_There's another one!_

Leaping backwards, he heard a low whistle shoot past his ear, and then a dull thud as a kunai struck the ground he had just been standing on, a small white square of paper sticking to its handle. Dropping the man, his sand flew back to him and formed a protective shell around him right before the kunai burst into a ball of fire. The flames licked at the shell for a few seconds before they died down, leaving a small burning patch on the ground. A few shuriken glided through the air almost lazily, as though they were testing whether he was still alive or not.

"Aw, is the Kazekage afraid?" the second man called out, letting out a cocky chuckle.

_He must not want to get too close, _Gaara realised, watching them through an eyeball that hovered near the backs of their heads. The second man continued to toss a variety of weapons at the shell, all the while hurling insults at the Kazekage. He seemed to be growing bolder and bolder with the lack of response. _This is getting rather irksome..._

Allowing the shell to disintegrate completely, to his attackers' surprise, he took a step forward. "Tell me who you are, and what you want."

"Nah, don't feel like it," the first one said arrogantly.

"I said –"

"We heard what you said! Doesn't mean we're gonna listen, does it?"

Something inside Gaara snapped. _I'm going to kill these bastards!_ a voice cried out from deep within him. He could feel it in his chest, begging him to make his dream a reality, to crush the bones of his attackers, to end their pathetic lives. It wanted to see their blood, it wanted to listen to their sweet screams of mercy as they died a slow and painful death. It wanted to savour every beautiful moment of their deaths.

It scared him.

He tried to reason with this part of him. _I can't just kill them without finding out what their intentions are, _he told it.

_Isn't it obvious?! _the raspy voice replied._ They want you dead! You have to kill them first!_

_Killing them won't give me any answers. It'll be better if I detain them. _

_Fuck that! _the voice replied angrily. It almost sounded like Shukaku. _Kill first, ask questions later! That used to be the motto, right?_

_That was a long time ago, _Gaara snapped. _These people don't need to die._

_That never stopped you before. _

_Be quiet._

_I don't really want to, and you don't want me to either. You're the one who wants to kill them – there's a powerful murderous intent boiling up within you, and you're ready to erupt!_

Gaara was steadily growing more infuriated with the voice within him. _Just shut up so I can think._

_You don't need to think! Just do! Kill them, Gaara!_

_No!_

_C'mon, you're dying for it! KILL THEM! It'll be worth it, I promise! Just do it!_

The world had melted away before his eyes; he was locked in a battle within himself, struggling against this side of him that wanted nothing more than to kill. He slammed his palms over his ears, trying in vain to block out this voice, this cruel voice that wanted him to do the one thing he'd promised himself he wouldn't do.

But what if it was right? What if he didn't have any choice? No, no, no, he couldn't think like that! He didn't want to kill them!

Right?

_Kill them! _the voice screeched. _Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!_

His inner struggle left him completely oblivious to the two men who'd attacked him. Seeing him doubled over and clutching at his head like he'd just encountered a massive migraine made them realise that this was the perfect opportunity to attack.

"What should we do?" asked the man with the katana. He raised his weapon uncertainly. "I didn't actually think we'd have a chance like his."

_Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!_

"What do you think, idiot?!" the other hissed. "Let's finish him off while we can!"

They launched themselves at Gaara, ready to stab him through the heart and end this battle for good. What they failed to realise was that although he was in this stupor, his sand was still very much active.

If they had looked down, they would've noticed the streams of sand that slithered across the floor towards their ankles. It climbed up their legs in spirals, locking the two in its grasp. By the time the first one noticed the strange rough sensation sliding around his ankles, it was too late. They yelled in surprise as they were pulled into the air and dangled upside down. The sand began to clump together around them, and they exchanged frightened glances once they realised what was happening.

_Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! _

"N-no, stop!" one shouted. Before he could say any more, the sand had covered his face, muffling his desperate pleas.

Gaara watched them in a daze, his brain faintly registering what was going on. The sand was beginning to smother them. His fingers began to twitch, itching for him to give the command to crush them both. No. This was wrong. He didn't want to kill them. He really, really didn't.

_Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!_

The world fell silent. There was no more wind, no more yelling. He could feel his heart pounding against his ribs, and then he could hear it too, _ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum_. It was in his ears, in his head, and just like the voice, there was no escape from it. Everything slowed down. His eyes wandered about the area, blind to everything except the two coffins of sand hovering in the air.

No.

This wasn't happening.

It couldn't be happening.

_KILL! _

His fingers slammed shut into a fist.

There was no moon in the sky, and barely a wisp of a cloud.

But that night, it rained blood.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Thank you for following this story, for adding it to your favorites, and especially for your reviews - I love reading your reactions and insights to each chapter; they're great to see, not to mention very motivating as well. c:

And now, please enjoy Chapter 3!

* * *

When Temari and Kankuro found Gaara, everything was over.

A horrified gasp escaped her lips when she caught sight of the carnage – in the orange glow of the streetlamps, she had seen the two, twisted and lifeless bodies resting on top of each other, lying in a slowly spreading pool of blood. Their faces were – oh, God, what had happened to their faces? They were bent in, crushed by something incredibly powerful. Bloodshot eyes stared at her through the mess, and gaping mouths silently screamed into the night. Their skin had folded almost like paper, and there were bones, so many of them, hard white objects that tore through their limbs.

Gaara was there too, kneeling on the blood-stained ground with his back towards them. Was he just... staring at the corpses? Tiny red spots stood out against the pale cloth that made up his robes.

They'd followed the path they thought he might take, expecting to catch him off-guard half-way home, as long as they hurried. They hadn't been expecting to find this. How could they?

"Gaara?"

_Was it you?_

Temari moved to his side, and took a good look at his face. She couldn't see the bloodlust that raged within him, she couldn't hear the wicked high-pitched laughter that deafened him to his surroundings. She didn't know anything of the turmoil within him.

She felt blind. _Where are his eyes? _She asked herself, crouching down beside him. His nose, his lips, where had everything gone? She could see nothing but the red that stained his features.

_Did you do this?_

She opened her mouth to speak, but her voice failed her. She raised a hand to touch him, but her fingers faltered in the air. _Did he do this? Did he kill them? _Images were racing through her mind, completely immobilizing her. Images she had pushed away long ago. Images of all the death that had followed her family.

Gaara had never been a happy child. She remembered the days when she was just a little girl herself, and he was the young, unwanted boy whose own father had arranged to have him assassinated on multiple occasions. She and Kankuro had given him a wide berth, which had seemed like a sane decision at the time, given that he'd decided the only thing that made him feel like he had any sort of purpose in life was murder. No-one had tried to convince him otherwise, and so he'd grown up believing his philosophy was right. If not for Konoha's chuunin exams and the lively blonde jinchuriki they'd met there, she didn't know what would've happened to her brother. Somehow, Naruto had managed to do what nobody had thought possible. He'd gotten through to Gaara.

Ever since then, Gaara hadn't taken the life of a single person. Not one. He'd been so lost during his first few weeks back in Suna. So tentative, trying so hard not to make a mistake, working towards building a better relationship with the villagers. He'd wanted them to trust him. Every mission he went on was different. The jails, once barren and devoid of life, began to fill as he brought prisoners back with him. He was following a new philosophy, and everyone could see it.

He'd worked so hard. He'd changed so much.

What had happened here?

A flash of movement at her side brought her back to the present. Kankuro had finally moved. Ignoring the sickening squelch his boots made as they landed in the damp earth, he stepped in front of Gaara and grabbed the younger boy's shoulders, looking him over.

"What the hell happened here, Gaara?" he asked, voicing Temari's question.

Her muscles were tense – she lowered her hands to her side and began to clench and unclench her fists, attempting to relax and distract herself while waiting for an answer. Who were these two men? Why were they dead? She wanted an answer, but at the same time, she didn't. She was afraid of what he might say.

_Please oh please, if there is a God, and if he's kind, this will not have been some relapse. This is not some random killing. Tell me you didn't want to do this. Tell me it was never your intention to kill these two men. Tell me, Gaara, please! I need to know!_

Gaara's eyes swerved towards Kankuro, but they were empty, devoid of any sort of emotion. Was his skin always this pale? A sheen of sweat glistened on his forehead, but he looked cold. Freezing, even. "...Huh?"

"What happened?"

She bit her lip. _Please, please, don't tell me something I don't want to hear._

"They...they attacked me. They wanted to kill me. I just...I reacted. There was no other option."

The knot in Temari's stomach loosened.

Assassins. They wanted to kill him. He'd acted in self-defence. This wasn't just some random killing.

This wasn't a relapse.

_Thank God._

She let out a deep breath. She had to steady her nerves, to be calm. She had to get her brothers home. It wasn't safe out here. The initial relief she'd felt was washed away when she realised the enormity of the situation.

Someone had just tried to _kill_ her brother!

"Guys, we need to go, _now_," she hissed urgently, picking herself up from the ground and hauling Gaara up along with her. He didn't resist – rather, he seemed almost unaware of what was going on. He seemed vulnerable, and a sudden need to protect him bubbled up within her.

It was silly, she knew, to worry about him when he could clearly take care of himself. But she didn't like this at all. Even though he would never admit it, she knew he wasn't in a stable state of mind. Sure, he'd managed to take care of the situation, but what had it done to him? Already he was barely eating, and still, he didn't sleep – hell, she'd been unable to sleep properly the past few nights as well. How could she when his cries kept her up?

He would never admit it, but something was wrong with him. And now more than ever, she had to keep him safe. If that was the only thing she could do for him, then she'd do it, and she'd do a hell of a job of it, too.

"What about all of this?" Kankuro asked, gesturing towards the blood and corpses. "We can't just leave it here and let someone find it! Nothing like this has happened in years – you know who people are going to suspect."

He was right, she realised. What were they supposed to do?

It seemed like Gaara was listening in, because the sand around the bodies began to shift, and then it enveloped the entire scene, leaving behind a large, slightly obvious pile of sand. Then, without hesitation, a ball of sand smashed through the two closest streetlamps and shattered them completely, bathing the scene in darkness. "Will that do for now?"

The area was nearly abandoned, with only one house in the nearby vicinity, and a few trash cans littered here and there. It was unlikely that anyone would come across it for the rest of the night – if they did, they would barely notice. In the morning, however, things would be different. She nodded.

"C'mon. I want to get you out of here. Kankuro and I will come back once you're safe at home."

Normally, Temari was very perceptive of her environment. Nothing escaped her attention. But, on this particular occasion, she failed to spy the twinkle of the eyes that watched them from the darkness. Nor did she notice the dark figure that crept away silently from behind a particularly large group of trash cans. Her focus was on other matters.

The walk home was long, and the silence was unbearable. It was understandable, however. Gaara was still in a daze, and his siblings; well, their minds were preoccupied. While Kankuro was trying to come up with a plan to hide what Gaara had done from the villagers, Temari had managed to work herself into a panicked frenzy. Who were the men who attacked him? Why did they want her brother dead? Were they working alone? What if they were part of a gang? Would this be the only attack? She had no answers. Only a never-ending list of questions.

Upon entering the house, they made a beeline to the living room. Gaara slumped down onto the soda and rested his chin on his palm, staring into space. Temari paced back and forth across the carpet, dirtying the material with bits of dirt and blood that had stuck to her shoe. Kankuro just stood in the doorway, slightly bemused by the complete contrast in their behaviour.

"I've never seen those men before," she muttered. Well, she couldn't be so sure; their faces had been mangled past the point of recognition. But nothing about them had been even the slightest bit familiar. "What about you guys?"

Kankuro shook his head. Gaara said nothing.

"I didn't see any forehead protectors on them. They could've been outsiders. Then again, they could've been our own, as well."

Silence.

"We'll have to forget about that now, I suppose. What's more important is that we figure out what the hell we're going to do with the bodies, and we need to do it now."

It was almost like she was talking to herself.

"Things were just getting back to normal. We don't need to panic the villagers with this. We can't disguise it as some random murder, which means we're going to have to get rid of those bodies completely. But, Gaara, this means that you can't sneak off on your own anymore like that. I don't know if those two were working alone or with a group, but either way, there's no guarantee your life isn't in danger. I know you have the ultimate defence in that gourd on your back, but that's not going to stop me from worrying. For now, I'm not letting you out of my sight. Got it?"

He said nothing.

A vein twitched in her forehead. "Would one of you be so kind as to say something?!" she hissed through clenched teeth, suppressing the overwhelming urge to start screaming at them.

"...Well, we'll need to talk to the elders," Kankuro said, deciding to speak up before his sister grew violent. "And soon. They need to know what happened. Hiding an assassination attempt from them will only cause us trouble. Besides, if they give us a few ANBU who can keep their mouths shut, we can get rid of the corpses within an hour." Unsure of whether Gaara was listening or not, he stepped closer to Temari and lowered his voice. "They're going to want to have him checked out, you know. It's odd, isn't it? He could've just trapped them. Did he really need to kill them?"

"Of course he did!" she nearly yelled. "They were trying to _kill_ him, Kankuro! Who knows what kind of dirty tricks they had up their sleeves?! Or worse, what if they got away?!"

"He would never let them get away, Temari," Kankuro replied. "He'd catch them. Something is wrong with this whole thing. He's not telling us the whole story. You know it, I know it, and the elders are going to know it."

She couldn't argue. He was right. They didn't know what had happened before they got there, but they knew their brother. She'd let herself be led astray by her own hopes. No matter what the situation, Gaara never would've killed his opponents, and especially not in such a brutal fashion.

_Should we ask him what really happened, then? _She nearly scoffed at the idea. He'd remained quiet over the entire trip home, and long before that. She'd believed not so long ago that they would be able to simply force him to open up to them, but now she knew different.

"Do...do you think that, if they sent him to see someone, like a psychiatrist, he'd open up?"

"I doubt it."

"...Let's not think about it now, then. Let's go talk to the elders."

She turned towards Gaara, who looked as though he hadn't heard a single word that was said.

"Hey, Gaara," she said, shaking his shoulder lightly.

He blinked once, twice, and then his eyes focused on her. "Huh?"

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." His response was instantaneous. "Just tired. Did I miss something?"

"We're going to talk to the elders, and get rid of those bodies before the sun comes up."

"What should I do?"

"Stay here."

"What?"

"You heard me. It's not safe for you right now. You need some rest."

"Oh. Are you sure you can handle this on your own?"

She didn't like the way he was talking. He wasn't resisting at all. He sounded so...so tired. Cold. _You're not okay at all, are you? _She thought sadly. _And you won't even tell me why. I don't understand, but that's all I want to do. Why won't you let me help you? _Would saying these words aloud convince him to speak his mind? She didn't really think so.

"We'll be fine. Just do me a favour and try to get some sleep while we're gone."

"...Alright."

* * *

"They're dead! He crushed them like it was nothing!"

"That's a shame. It took a while for them to get here, and they made us pay a hell of a lot of money for their services. Clearly they were overpaid."

"Better them than any of our men, I say. You didn't see what I saw. It was horrible. The guy's a bloody _monster_!"

"And it's our job to get rid of him. That's why we've all gathered like this. We won't let a beast like that have power over our lives much longer."

"So we'll try again?"

"Yes. And if we fail, we'll keep on trying."

"Until he's dead?"

"Until he's dead."

* * *

Sleep wasn't an option.

Sitting there in that lightless room, cross-legged on top of his futon with the blankets tossed carelessly aside, it seemed like the only thing to do was wait. Temari and Kankuro had left the house a while ago, heading out to clean up the mess he'd made, and they'd left him with strict instructions to stay put. If only they'd given him a job, or even some work; anything to keep him busy. But he'd given them the impression that he couldn't even think, let alone actually do anything. That wasn't right, though. A million thoughts were raging inside his head. He just didn't mean to share them.

The first thing he'd done when they'd gone was tear off his bloodstained clothes and thrown them into the trash, refusing to ever wear them again. A scalding hot shower had done the trick of washing away the dirt and dried blood on his person. Even so, long afterwards he could still feel the blood, drying in his air, clinging to his fingers, warm and sticky and haunting.

And now what was there to do? If he went to sleep, he would dream again. He'd had enough for today. He didn't want to feel it all again. He didn't want to think about what he had done.

But by now Gaara had learnt that he'd never get what he wanted.

_It was self-defence, _he thought weakly, resisting the urge to drag his fingers through his unkempt hair, just in case he felt the blood that wasn't really there. _I had to kill them. They were trying to kill me. _

Was that just an excuse? He'd been attacked on multiple occasions over the past few months, all of these instances occurring while he was on a mission. Every time they'd aimed to kill, and still, he hadn't killed them. What made today so different? What made him break the promise he'd made with himself so long ago? The bloodshed in his dreams, the craving that the beast had spoke of, he wanted no part of it. Was fate so cruel that it had decided he was destined to be a creature he didn't want to be anymore?

He could still see the looks on their on their faces before his sand had hidden them from sight, the beginnings of pure terror shining in their eyes as they realised what was going to happen to them. Maybe their lives had flashed before their eyes as the old cliché went. What were their lives like? Who were they? Before they died, they could've been anyone. Someone's son. Someone's brother. Husband. Father. With one command, he'd ended it all. Their ribs had shattered and pierced their lungs, and as their breathing grew shallower they lived to feel the pain of having every single bone in your body snap in half and stab you from the inside. He'd felt it all happen, too – in his head, rather than his sand it had almost been like he was crushing them within his fist, and he could feel their tiny, weak bodies break apart in his palm.

Were there people out there who would mourn their deaths?

_Stop thinking like this! They weren't innocent people! _he scolded himself. From their crude and lazy strategy it was obvious that they were no professionally trained killers, but they'd been out there that night with the intention of taking his life. There was no reason to feel guilty for what he did. There was no reason to feel any form of remorse. Not for these people.

In a way, it was good, though. That he felt guilty. Yes, he had to feel guilty. Guilt meant that he still had emotions; it meant that he could still feel, that he wasn't the monster he was afraid of becoming once again.

_You're not guilty at all, _a little voice sang in his head. That voice. That damned voice. The one that sounded exactly like Shukaku. _You wanted to kill them. _

"I didn't," he said aloud, hoping this would make his words sound stronger. But instead of the powerful tone he'd imagined, it came out more like a pleading whisper. "I didn't want to. I never wanted to."

_You did, you did, you did! _The voice cackled gleefully. _This is who you are, Gaara! You were born to be a weapon of mass destruction!_

"You're wrong."

_I'm not! You're a killer! A great one! Can you recall those wonderful days when you had no worries? When you were alone and all you had to do to feel good was crush someone to pieces, just like today? You felt that familiar surge, didn't you? That ecstasy that comes along with a kill? Try to tell me you didn't!_

He flinched as it began to giggle. It didn't help that the voice's words weren't exactly far off from the truth. He'd tried to deny it, to push it away, but now that the voice had brought it up, he couldn't forget it. Earlier that evening, when he realised what he'd done, he'd experienced something else along with the guilt. It was a tiny, no more than a pinprick of a feeling, but he'd felt it all the same.

Somewhere deep inside him, he'd enjoyed the kill.

And that was what scared him the most.

"I... I can't deny what I felt then. You never forget a feeling like that."

_See? I told you so!_

"I'm not finished. You want that to mean I'm reverting back to my old self –"

_Which you are - _

"No, I'm not. I didn't enjoy what I did tonight. Whatever remnants of my former self linger inside of me, that's all they are. Remnants. I'm not the same person I was three years ago. I regret everything I did in the past. All of that pain I caused, I can never live that down. But I can only move forward from here."

The past. That dreadful, lonely place. He could remember it with vivid clarity, that darkness which had smothered him in its embrace, suffocating him with the painful sensations of isolation and loneliness. The only thing that had allowed him to survive was the words Shukaku had whispered into his ear, words of malice and treachery that had poisoned every corner of his mind.

He wouldn't go back there again. He'd worked too hard to leave it all behind. He wasn't a killer anymore. He was the Kazekage. A leader of the people. He had to be a good, respectable person. He had to be strong. Both for their sake and his own.

_Oh, come on, don't be so fucking dull, _the voice whined. _Do you really think you'll ever get to be normal? What are you going to do? Visit a psychiatrist like your sister wants? Do you remember those doctors who poked and prodded you last time, talking in their arrogant, droning voices? They'd said that no-one could come back from the dead without being seriously damaged. I bet they'd have fucking dissected you if they'd had the change. Nothing more interesting than finding out how a monster functions, wasn't that what you heard him saying while they thought you were unconscious?_

He cringed at the idea, for once in agreement with the voice.

"I won't let them send me to any kind of doctor. But I'm not going to listen to you, either."

_You don't have to. Your body knows what it wants, and soon, you'll know too. You'll go back to the way you were, and we'll have some great times together! _It cackled gleefully. _Slaughtering prey left and right, oh how I miss the days of hunting! We do need to find a more interesting way of killing, though. I'm getting rather bored of the whole 'crush them in a sand coffin' bit._

"You're despicable."

_I'm you._

"Never."

_I am, you know. Or at least, I was, once. I will be again. You'll see things my way sooner or later, don't worry. It's only a matter of time before you crack._

"Get lost. I won't say it twice."

_You can't kick me out forever! I'm a part of you, a piece that you'll never be able to get rid of! I'll -!_

Finally!

He'd actually managed to block it out. He was tempted to pat himself on the back, but talking to a voice in his head was already bad enough. He didn't need to appear any crazier, even if he was the only person in the room.

He started to stretch – first his arms, and then his legs, trying to release the tension he'd built up in his muscles. It didn't work. This room, although spacious and empty, was incredibly stifling. All of a sudden, he needed some air.

Getting up from the ground, he walked over to the door and reached towards the handle. At that exact moment, the door was flung open from the outside. It would've slammed into his face had he not seen it coming and jumped back in time. Temari and Kankuro stood on the other side of the doorway, both sporting surprised expressions on their faces.

"You're up," Kankuro observed. "That's good. Saves us the trouble of waking you. Mind if I switch on the lights? All dark like this, your room feels a bit...well, creepy."

He nodded, and Kankuro flipped the switch beside the door, illuminating the room with the dull yellow glow of the bulb that hung in the middle of the ceiling.

"You weren't gone for long," he commented as they entered his room and made themselves comfortable – Kankuro sat on his desk chair, and Temari on the desk itself, kicking her feet to and fro like a small child.

Upon hearing his remark they exchanged an odd glance. "Gaara, it's almost been five hours since we left," Temari said. His eyes widened slightly. Five entire hours? No, that had to be wrong! How could they have been gone for so long? He could've sworn it hadn't been more than an hour.

"What's with that look on your face?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing. It's nothing. I just didn't realise you had been gone for so long."

"Right."

Clearly she didn't buy it, but she didn't press the subject. "Well, we had a lot to do. We're lucky the _incident _happened in a pretty empty area. No-one found the scene. Cleaning it up was pretty easy."

"Pretty easy!?" Kankuro exclaimed angrily, grimacing at his sister. "That was a bitch to clean up! I did the most work in that group! Do you know how much there was to get rid of?! It was disgusting! We had to _cut through their limbs _before we could move them because they were so fucked up – OW!"

A sharp jab to the chest ended his moaning. "Bad timing," she muttered to him. Her eyes swivelled back onto Gaara. "While he was doing that, I talked with the elders." Her lips curved into a frown. "They weren't happy about it. And they were pretty worried as well."

"Worried or afraid?"

She dropped his gaze. "Both. They want to get into investigating the matter; after all, an assassination attempt on the Kazekage is nothing to laugh about. But they also want to make sure that you don't...well, that there aren't any more mishaps like this. They think..." she hesitated before continuing. "They're under the impression that you've become mentally unstable, and that right now you're in no condition to be running the village, especially if there are people out to kill you."

His heart dropped into his stomach. "What do they want me to do?"

"We fought for you, Gaara. Believe me, a lot of them were against letting you stay in power in your current condition – their words, not mine – but you have support as well. There was a lot to consider: your safety, your health, etcetera. In the end, we came to a compromise that suited us all."

"What did you agree on?"

"We want you to leave Suna."

_They're getting rid of you! Hahahaha!_

Fucking hell. It was back. "...You want me to do what?"

"Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not telling you to leave the village forever. It's nothing like that. But someone wanted you dead. I'm not going to believe you're safe from another attack until the ANBU figure out who those men were. We agreed on a team of five to handle the investigation, they've been sworn to secrecy. They're the best people for the job. I bet they'll have figured everything out by the end of next week."

"If it's that easy then why do I need to leave?"

"You have to leave because I'm not going to be able to breathe easy knowing that anyone could be after you, lurking around the corner and just waiting for you to take a wrong turn. I don't care how well you can defend yourself – it still scares the crap out of me just imagining what could happen. It's not only that, though. You need a break, Gaara. You need some time to yourself. You barely sleep, you barely eat – you're always absorbed in your work, and it's not healthy. I know that, and they know that too, and that's how I managed to convince the elders that it was stress and a lack of sleep that led to what happened tonight. I told them all you needed was a break, and then you'd be ready to take the wheel once again."

There she was, giving him that meaningful look again. That look that said 'I know what's going on, even if you won't tell me anything.' Kankuro's expression was almost a reflection of hers. What was this? Some sort of test? To get him to talk? Or were they trying to give him some sort of opportunity that they believed he needed?

Well they were wrong. He didn't have to leave Suna. He didn't need time to himself. He needed to stay busy. He needed to work. It wasn't an option.

"I don't need to relax," he told them. "What were the other ideas?"

"It's already been decided," she said. "There aren't any other ideas anymore. We're making the arrangements in the morning."

"No."

He didn't want to leave. He had a job to do.

_And there are still people to kill._

"Hear me out, Gaara. We need to look into those two men, and that's going to take some time. A second attempt will be harder to cover up, but there can't be a second attempt if you're not here. By sending you away, not only will I know that you're safe, but you'll also be getting the break you deserve."

The rational side of him began to consider what she was saying.

"Where do you want to send me?"

"To Konoha."

_Lots of prey in Konoha. It was a hoot the last time you were there. They were so frightened! Pathetic little creatures, all of them._

Konoha. That wasn't so bad. Naruto was in Konoha.

_Oh, __**him**__. I have special plans for that one. You'll like them._

"Won't the villagers be suspicious if I just up and leave?"

"We've already thought of a cover story. You're going to Konoha to make plans for joint missions between shinobi from the two villages, because you think these teams will be more 'effective' in carrying out the high-ranking missions. It'll also be an attempt to promote teamwork between Suna and Konoha. Nobody will question it."

"...I'm not sure this will work, Temari."

"It will. It's just for a week or two, I promise. We'll get to the bottom of this attack, you'll get some sleep, and then you can come back and work yourself to death if you like."

"But the villagers need me here. I have a job to do. I can take care of myself, you know that."

"Yes, I do," she sighed, exasperation present in her voice. "But your way of dealing with the problem...it won't work."

"That won't happen again."

"You don't understand, Gaara. I worked hard to get this plan accepted, and the decision has been made. Whether you like it or not, you're going. Kankuro and I can handle everything for you while you're gone. We do pretty well together when we're not arguing. Synergy and all that, you know."

Kankuro, who'd been unnaturally silent until then, spoke. "Konoha will be good for you, Gaara. We're your older siblings. Just let us protect you once in a while, okay?"

They both seemed pretty convinced this would work. Or, rather, they were determined to make it work.

Maybe they were right. Maybe it would do him some good to get out of this place. To just...unwind.

Or maybe it wouldn't change anything at all.

Either way, it wasn't like he had much of a choice in the matter anymore. Willing or unwilling, they'd force him to go.

So he'd do it, then. He'd go to Konoha.

What could go wrong?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Behold, Chapter 4! Thank you once again for following this story and for your reviews, they mean the world to me. And now, enjoy.

* * *

It was late in the afternoon when the two shinobi from Suna arrived at Konoha. The sun lit the day with a bright orange glow, and from the branches high above their heads they could hear birds singing to each other. The wind wove its way around them, bringing the forest to life as it tugged leaves away from their branches and sent them flying into the air. From beyond the large gates barring their path into the village, the sound of voices was carried towards them. Most likely, those were the people coming to open up the gates and welcome them into the village. Then again, they might not have even gotten the scroll they'd sent. It could've just been a few guards having a laugh, completely unaware that the leader of the most powerful village in the Land of Wind was standing on the other side of Konoha's protective walls.

Either way, Gaara didn't care. He just wanted out.

As soon as he'd step foot out of Suna, all he'd wanted to do was turn right back around and return home, where he could go about his duties as usual. But it was too late – even though he'd changed his mind, he'd already agreed to this ridiculous scheme, and there was no stopping it now, not when his siblings were so determined to get rid of him. Temari had taken the initiative to scrawl a vague explanation down for Tsunade (choosing to write only about the attempted assassination and their investigation into it) and sent a messenger bird to the village early in the morning, just a few minutes before the two left. They'd taken two packs with them, one full of supplies for the journey and the other stuffed with clothes for his indefinite stay. Seeing as Gaara had to carry his gourd, his brother was designated as the trip's pack-mule for the day, a job which he'd gone to great lengths to complain about throughout their journey. Gaara hadn't minded this; it'd served as a much needed distraction for him. After all, the last thing he needed to do at a time like this was start thinking.

He could still see the hopeful look in Temari's eyes as she'd waved them away before returning to the Kazekage's office to inform the villagers of their leader's temporary absence. Their goodbye had been rather awkward – she'd pulled him into a long, silent hug and then told him to be safe. She believed that she was doing the right thing. After all, she merely wanted to keep him sane, and give him the opportunity to step back from this suffocating job and take a breath. She didn't realise that this was hopeless. While she remained in denial, he knew this plan of hers wouldn't work. Sending him to Konoha wasn't going to do anything for him. All she'd managed to achieve was the separation of him and the one thing that kept his mind occupied long enough to keep the voices at bay.

This was doomed to fail. He'd tried to tell her this before their goodbye, to give her the opportunity to back out of this, but she'd chosen to ignore his protests. She was stubborn. His whole family was. That was how they worked.

Oh well. Sooner or later they'd need him back. They couldn't keep him out here forever.

Until that time came, he'd just have to accept this predicament of his and go along with it. Still, he couldn't help but feel incredibly uncomfortable as the gates swung wide open, revealing a party of three leaf-nin. Leading the way at the front of the group was their confident, blonde Hokage. Her hair was held back in two ponytails, and she wore a striking green haori which she'd wrapped around her torso, probably to keep the wind out. One of her hands was balled up into a fist, and a tiny rolled-up paper was poking out from it. She'd brought Temari's letter with her. Well, that wasn't very surprising. She probably expected him to elaborate on what his sister had written. Well, she'd be pretty disappointed. He'd only repeat what was in the letter.

"Gaara-sama!" she greeted cheerfully. She bowed respectfully, and the party behind her mimicked her actions. The sand shinobi bowed in return. "And Kankuro-san! It's good to see you both."

"It's good to see you as well, Tsunade-sama," Gaara replied. "I apologize for not send word sooner –"

"It's not a problem!" she said, waving away the rest of his apology. "The preparations for your stay were easy enough to make. Come on now, we want to get you settled in before dark."

The two men who had come with her held out their hands towards Kankuro expectantly. He tossed the bag to them gratefully, elated by the knowledge that he'd only have to carry the half-empty supply bag on his return trip.

"Thanks," he said. "Tsunade-sama, please take good care of my brother while he's here.

She nodded, and he shot her a small smile before turning back to his brother. "Try to relax while you're here, okay?" he pleaded in a low voice.

"I don't think this is going to help anything, Kankuro," Gaara said, a last ditch attempt to get his sibling to take him back. "Being over-worked isn't the problem here."

"I'm not talking about work. I'm talking about you. You've been different ever since Shukaku was taken out of you. We hear you when you sleep, and we see how tense you look all the time, even though no-one else seems to notice."

"But –"

"Don't interrupt me! Any idiot can see you're being haunted by something. But what would I know? You don't tell me a thing. Honestly, I think Temari's right. This time here, out of Suna, it'll help you. I know it will. Just give it a chance."

Gaara didn't know what to say. All he could do was sigh and nod reluctantly. Kankuro gave him one last pat on the shoulder before he waved at the leaf-nin, who'd been standing by and chatting amongst one another as they waited for the two to finish their conversation. And then he was gone, and Gaara was alone.

"Well, now, Gaara-sama, why don't we get going?" Tsunade asked, beckoning him to her side. "You'll want to get settled into your guest room straight away."

"...Alright."

"Now, you lot," she said, addressing her entourage, "Drop his bag off in my apartment and then spread the word that the Kazekage has arrived. Got it?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama!"

They leapt away from the area, leaving the two Kage to their business. Gaara strode in silence beside Tsunade for a few minutes, watching as the scenery changed around them. Buildings began to sprout up, large structures of wood and stone that seemed to have their own unique character to them. Some were familiar to him, but he'd forgotten about most of the places in the village. It had been more than three years since his last visit, after all. The main streets were crowded with both civilians and shinobi going about their regular business, so Tsunade guided him down a slightly less-crowded road that went along the outskirts of the village.

"So, Gaara-sama," she began, "Would you like to explain to me what this surprise visit of yours is all about?" As if he needed to be reminded, she held the scroll out towards him. There, scrawled in his sister's messy handwriting were the words: _Tsunade-sama, Gaara needs to stay in Konoha for a while. There was an attempt on his life. We need to keep him out of the village and out of harm's way while we investigate, so we hope you'll let him stay until we've settled this. We're keeping everything from the public, so if necessary, tell your villagers he's there to talk about sending more sand-shinobi on joint missions with your own. Thanks so much for your help. "_You kids really didn't give me any choice in this, you know. I understand it's because you had to react quickly, and I'm fine with helping you out, but I feel like you're leaving something out. It just seems like there's more to the story than what I can see."

What was he supposed to say? _Well, those two assassins are dead, seeing as I violently murdered them both. I didn't want to, but Shukaku – oh, sorry, the voice in my head that sounds almost exactly the same as him – got me to kill them. We had to hide it from the public, who, let's face it, do not need to hear about their leader doing something like this. The elders are afraid I'm going off the rails, and that I might be turning back into the murderous psychopath I was before. And Kankuro and Temari, well, they both have the idiotic notion that staying here is going to fix whatever's wrong with me. _Yeah, that would definitely work.

"There's nothing more to tell," he lied. "Last night, two men attempted to kill me. As you can see, they failed. Temari and Kankuro overreacted to the situation. They decided they want me out of Suna while they try to find out if those two were the only people behind this plan, and the elders went along with them."

"That's the only reason you're here?" she sounded sceptical. "You're the Kazekage. I wouldn't expect you to ignore your duties and run away because of something like this."

"I didn't want to leave. They didn't give me any choice. Most likely they're worried it's some sort of secret conspiracy, and that the attacks are only just beginning. I can't really blame them for their decision, though. I did die once."

"Taking that into consideration, I suppose it makes sense." She fell silent, reflecting on the matter. "Are you certain that's all there is to it?"

"Yes."

"Well, if that's the case, I guess you can consider this a fun holiday! Konoha's a very relaxed village most of the time – just enjoy yourself while you're here.

"Alright."

They spent the rest of their walk talking about their usual business affairs, although at times the conversation would break apart when Tsunade stopped mid-sentence to point out the streets leading to certain places that Gaara should visit during his stay.

After what seemed like an endless walk, they reached a tall, circular building that stood just opposite of Hokage Rock, where the faces of all the previous Hokage had been carved. Gaara took a moment to admire the skill that went into the crafting of this monument before following Tsunade inside the building. The interior was rather impressive; it was well furnished, and there were doors leading in all different directions. She led him through a door at the far end of the room, where a winding staircase led to the floors above. "This is a pretty big building, but mostly it's used for storage. My apartment is at the top, and that's where you'll be staying."

Then they were climbing up the stairs, working their muscles hard as they climbed their way to the top of the tower. By the time they reached the top he'd started to run out of breath. Tsunade was completely unfazed by the trop. She gave him a once over and an amused grin spread across her face.

"You'll get use to the climb soon enough," she promised.

And then she was off again, walking at a pace that he'd rather not try to keep up with. He followed her past a small, open kitchen where he spied a fridge and a wooden cabinet that was filled to the brim with sake. They passed a cosy looking sitting room with cream-coloured couches and a small, round coffee table. She stopped in front of the third closed door they'd passed, where Gaara's bag had been propped up neatly against the wall.

Pushing open the door, she revealed a rather spacious and brightly lit room, one that just barely resembled his own. On the left hand side a desk and a wardrobe stood before the wall, and right opposite him was a large circular window, its dark green curtains held back neatly beside it. As well as a desk chair, he had an arm chair sitting in the right corner of the room beside the door, with a small table beside it upon which a single black lamp stood. His bed was beside the window; it was a narrow thing, with a wooden headboard and clean white sheets.

"This is your room," Tsunade said as she lifted his bag with ease and tossed it onto his bed. "The kitchen and sitting room are back down there, and the bathroom is just down the hall, first door to the left. Now, there's a good chance a lot of the upper-class clan leaders here will want to meet with you, so we'll start arranging times for them tomorrow. I'm not going to bombard you with much, just a few dinners and such now and then. It'll help your visit look more 'official', so it's worth the effort. But like I said, that can wait until tomorrow. I know you must be tired from your trip, but Shizune will be up here soon for a meeting with him. You can join us for some tea, if you'd like."

"Thank you for the offer, but I think I'll be sleeping early tonight," he replied.

"If you change your mind, we'll be right outside," she said. With a small smile and a wave, she disappeared, shutting the door behind her.

Now that he was alone, he wasn't really sure what to do with himself.

_Don't worry, Gaara. I'll keep you company. We are roommates after all – I have an obligation to keep you entertained. And oh, the activities I have in mind! We're going to have a whole lot of fun._

* * *

"You have to be faster."

His fingers flew forward and jabbed her upper arm. She winced; he'd managed to partially block the flow of chakra through that point. But it was bearable, and she could still move it about with relative ease. She'd hoped for a bit of respite now, or even an opening through which she could make her own move, but it wasn't possible, not when he was moving so quickly, barely leaving any space between each of his attacks.

She swerved to the left, neatly dodging her father's latest strike. Now, while he was still leaning forward, this was her chance – she countered with her own attack, an upward strike aimed right at his solar plexus. She nearly hit him, too, but at the last second her arm failed her and hesitated in the air, giving him the time he needed to slam his forearm against her wrist and alter her path so her fingers merely grazed the side of his torso.

_He's got me, _she thought agitatedly as he clamped a hand down on her shoulder. With a hard shove he sent her reeling to the ground.

That was it. She'd officially lost their training match.

"That was a decent attempt," he told her, folding his arms across his chest. "You've improved a little, but you still have a long way to go."

Hinata lifted herself off the ground, wincing as her elbows began to throb. She'd been forced to cushion her fall with them, which meant that come the morning there was a chance her skin would be splotched purple. Ah, well, that wasn't too bad. It'd heal up in a couple of days. After all this time, she'd gotten used to getting bruises here and there.

"You need to work on your speed," Hiashi said once she was standing. "Your form and balance both need attention as well. When we spar next week I expect to see that you've improved in both areas. Is that understood?"

"Yes, father."

He left the room, and she dusted off her shirt and pants before beginning her stretches. As she raised her arms high above her head, she went over every detail of their fifteen-minute match, and couldn't help but feel a slight rush of pride. Compared to all of their previous sessions, she'd managed to last an entire three minutes longer. And if that hadn't been enough to raise her spirits, for the first time since their spars had begun a few months ago, she'd caught a glimpse of genuine astonishment in his eyes as he'd watched her counter. He'd been impressed by her! Just the idea of it brought a warm glow to her cheeks.

_I have to tell Neji, _she though excitedly, bending forward to touch her toes. _He'll be really happy! _For the past few months, missions had been coming around less and less often. The world was in a more peaceful state than she'd ever known it to be, and both she and her cousin had found themselves with more free time than either of them had ever expected to have. Hinata had, of course, immediately started planning a new training regime, her goal of becoming the strongest kunoichi she could possibly be still engraved into her mind. It'd taken her a bit of time to work up the courage to ask Neji to help her, as she was sure he was busy with his own work, and didn't need her bothering him. But in fact, he'd been pleasantly surprised by her request, and had accepted in the knowledge that he could definitely help her reach the standards that her clan had set for her.

When Hiashi had found out about this new regime of hers, he'd shown little interest in it. After all, it wasn't like he hadn't seen his eldest daughter training before. Every time he'd stayed to watch her, he'd always been disappointed by her lack of progress. But one day, on a whim, as he passed by her and Neji during one of their matches, he'd decided to stick around. It was purely curiosity that had kept him there, and it was a good thing it had, because he caught sight of the new techniques Hinata had learned under Neji's supervision, as well as multiple improvements in her fighting style. It was only then that he called her over and announced he wanted to start testing her weekly, to see if these little sessions of theirs were actually helping her get to the level she'd always been meant to be at.

She could still remember the sudden rush of elation she'd felt when she heard those words. He'd given up on her so long ago that never once had she dreamt he would take even the slightest notice of her newfound efforts. But when he did, it gave her a burst of motivation that she'd never felt before. Just the thought of being able to inspire even the smallest bit of pride in him led to her doubling the amount of time she spent training. Even though Neji had had to leave her to her own devices a few times when his team had a job, she would continue onwards without his guidance. Sure, she was seeing less and less of her friends nowadays, but she'd spend more time with them eventually. In any case, they'd have more missions to go on before she knew it. Until then, she was content with the way things were. After all, she was going to make her father proud. She wouldn't let anything deter her from this goal.

After a few more stretches she was finished. Taking a deep breath, she began the short walk to her kitchen with the intention of getting a cold glass of water for her parched throat. It was empty; the servants must have been at work elsewhere in the house. She quickly fixed up a glass and downed it all in what couldn't have been more than five seconds, enjoying the sweet, cool rush of the water as it ran down her throat.

"Hinata-sama, Hiashi-sama is looking for you."

She turned her head. It was one of the servants who had spoken; a petite woman with a tired expression on her face. "He's outside, at the gates."

"Okay. Thank you!" Putting her glass down, she hurried out of the house, afraid of keeping her father waiting.

He was standing in front of the gates, speaking with a man she didn't recognize. His uniform told her all she needed to know. He was one of the Hokage's messengers. That meant that he'd come to relay important information to them.

_I hope it's not anything bad, _she thought worriedly, quickening her stride. She was close enough now to hear snippets of their conversation, but by the time she reached them they'd already finished talking. The messenger bowed and then hurried away, off to carry his news to more people.

"What's going on?" she asked Hiashi, unable to read his expression. He looked completely...unfazed. Was that a good thing? She didn't know.

"Sabaku no Gaara has come to Konoha," he said, repeating the exact same words the messenger had used.

"...The Kazekage?" She'd never actually spoken to him before, but she remembered him, both from the Chuunin exams and from a few months ago when she'd heard about how the Akatsuki had taken him captive, and how Naruto had gone to rescue him. What possible reason could he have to come to Konoha?

It seemed like Hiashi had read her mind. "He's here to sort out a mission scheme with the Hokage. They want to send more Suna-nin on jobs with our own shinobi to promote teamwork between our villages."

_Teamwork between our villages..._ It was an interesting thought. Shinobi from different villages generally didn't tend to socialize; how could they when there was decades of bad blood between them? But the idea of developing a closer bond with the people of Sunagakure seemed like a rather good one. If they had the best shinobi from each village working side by side on S-ranked jobs, they'd definitely be done with them at a much faster pace, and possibly with even less casualties than both sides had grown used to having. If this actually worked, there was a chance relations between the two villages would greatly improve. Or it'd completely backfire and things would end up worse than before. The higher-ups must've been working on this plan for a long time before putting it into motion.

"While he's here the Kazekage will be visiting the most prestigious clans, and I've told the messenger to arrange us to be the first clan he visits. We'll have a dinner to welcome him to Konoha tomorrow night. It makes a statement, after all."

"Ah, o –"

"You'll be attending this dinner, of course."

"I –"

"Remember, when he's here, Hanabi and I are not the only people representing this clan. You will be doing the same. Do not disappoint me."

"Yes, father."

He looked satisfied with her response. "Now, go inform your sister, and then the servants. We have many preparations to make for tomorrow."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **So sorry for the late update guys, but things have been hectic for me, and I think the updates will be coming slower than I'd like them to. And so, with my deepest dearest apologies, please enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Tiny streams of sand wove their way through the air, shifting and swirling beneath the ceiling in an attempt to entertain the man manipulating them. However, their movements were in vain, as they could do nothing to distract him from his thoughts, and the night continued to slowly drag on.

Gaara was lying on his bed, his legs tangled in the sheets and arms folded beneath his head. His eyes had grown long tired of following the sand, and his world had melted into a blur of shadows and lights.

He'd dreamt again that night. Or, rather, during the hour of sleep he'd managed to steal before his violent awakening, he'd been spectator to a lovely montage of almost every single gruesome event he'd witnessed during his lifetime – most of them brought about by his own rage-fuelled actions. Faces twisted into grotesque masks of what they once were, bloodstained limbs that bent the wrong way round, stark white bones smashed into jagged shards which shot out from beneath the skin; not a single detail was spared. He could see everything. Yet, as disturbing as the images were, he may have been able to bear them for longer than just sixty minutes, had it not been for that little voice.

_Dum de dum, _it sang loudly, filling his head with nonsensical sounds and words. _Why won't you go back to sleep? If you need some help, I'd be happy to sing you a lullaby._

"Go away," he muttered with a tired sigh.

_Now, now, you don't really want me to leave, _the voice said. A loud cackling rang in his ears. Cleary this Shukaku-like part of his conscience was enjoying itself. He didn't bother replying; instead he kept his unfocused eyes on the sand. When was morning, again? Just like his sight, time had also blurred into an unintelligible haze. Well, it'd come around sooner or later. He'd just have to be patient until then.

_Why are you ignoring me? _He didn't respond. _Is it because of that little dream I gave you? Don't sulk! I thought you'd enjoy it! Honest! You know, now that I think about it, that Hokage woman is in a room just a few feet away from yours, isn't she? Wouldn't it be the easiest thing to just tiptoe in there and snap her neck? No-one's here to stop you! Think of all the havoc we could cause, Gaara!_

"Just be quiet, already."

_If you don't want to do it, let me do it for you!_

"..."

_Sheesh, you're so boring these days! I remember a glorious time a few years ago when we could've brought this entire village to the ground, if it hadn't been for that damn Kyuubi. If you're not going to kill the woman, we should go back to Suna – I think you could have about half of the villagers soaking in their blood before people start to fight back._

"..."

Without him realising it, his brain was beginning to shut itself down once again, preparing for a long night of rest. He couldn't even respond to the voice if he wanted to. But it seemed to be fading away, and maybe, just maybe this was a sign that he might be able to ignore it altogether and get some rest.

When would he learn to stop thinking so positively?

In retaliation to his calming thoughts, a picture of the two men he'd killed the night before suddenly appeared before his eyes. It was so vivid, so strong that for just a millisecond, he thought he was back in his village, standing in front of that carnage once again and staring into his victims' lifeless eyes. Frothy blood oozed out from between their lips, and flies buzzed about them, hovering over their pale faces hesitantly, as though they weren't sure whether or not it was safe to land. He could didn't know what to do when their lips began to move, revealing broken teeth and slashed tongues that cried out in silence, begging for – for what? They were already dead. There was nothing more for them; not in life, and not in his head, either.

Once again he was shoved back into reality, and he shot up out of his bed, afraid of succumbing to his dreams once again.

_I was asleep for just a minute! _He screamed inwardly, fighting the urge to hit something. _One minute!_

Shukaku's high pitched giggles spilled into his head, and a sharp pain in his palm caught his attention. Tiny crescents dotted his skin, some of them oozing droplets of blood through the broken skin.

_See?! You want blood to spill, don't you?! It doesn't matter who's bleeding. _Ignoring the voice, he inspected the small cuts. They weren't bad – certainly not bad enough to bleed properly, anyway. After patting them against his shirt for good measure, he stood up and crossed over to the window, drawing the curtains back so he could take a look outside. It was still dark, no doubt about that, but far away upon the horizon he caught just the tiniest glimmer of blue – dawn would be upon them shortly.

He'd gotten through the night.

He swallowed loudly, attempting to force down the heavy lump he could feel lodged in his trachea; a tangled knot of guilt and fear that wouldn't come undone no matter which way he pulled at the threads. He tried to convince himself there was absolutely no reason for it to be there in the first place – what he'd done to those two men was never what he'd planned to do; it was an unfortunate reflex triggered by Shukaku. He'd never meant to kill them. He wouldn't lose control like that again. He was different. He knew he was.

"I won't let you win," he said loudly; a bit too loudly, in fact – loud enough to be heard through the thin walls that separated his room from the rest of this apartment. Luckily, he heard nothing in return. The last thing he needed was Tsunade thinking he was insane.

Taking a deep breath, he rested his forehead against the delightfully cool glass. Maybe Temari and Kankuro were right. Maybe what he really needed was some time away from Suna. Especially if Shukaku was begging him to go back.

His view was not of the Hokage Rock, as he'd initially expected, but instead was of the village itself. As his eyes lazily roamed over the roofs of Konoha's dimly lit buildings, he spotted a dark silhouette flutter against the grey strip beside one of the smaller apartments. Narrowing his eyes, he watched the road closely until the silhouette revealed itself to him. It was a girl. Her hair flowed out from behind her in long, dark tresses as she jogged along the pavement, striking against her pale skin and even paler clothing. He couldn't look anywhere else; something had drawn his attention to her, and now he was stuck, his gaze glued to this stranger. He squinted further, craving just a glimpse of her face, yet as hard as he tried her features were completely hidden from him. She was getting farther away now, and he was on the verge of giving up until suddenly, as she turned along the bend of the next street, she looked up, and he found her eyes. They were large, lavender circles that appeared almost inhuman in this light. She wasn't looking at him, yet still he fell deeper and deeper into them; they were pools of sweet-scented water, and he was drowning, sinking into their depths, and in this abyss an entire world flashed before him. A calm he hadn't felt in a long time filled his chest, and still he fell, sinking further out of reach, deeper and deeper...

With a start, he leapt away from the window. Dazed, he blinked rapidly and rubbed his eyes. Was that...was that a dream? Had he fallen asleep? It hadn't felt like he was sleeping, though. He returned to the glass once more and searched for the girl he had seen, but if she had been there before, she was gone now. Was she real? Or was she just a figment of his imagination? If she was, she was the best thing to come out of his imagination in the longest time. The calm, peaceful feeling she had graced him with was still there, and he held onto it as tightly as he could, praying that he could enjoy it for just a little bit longer before the demons decided to take it away from him.

The sky was steadily growing brighter with each passing minute. Soon Tsunade would be awake, and then he'd have to leave the confines of his room and face whatever she had planned for him. A bunch of meetings with a bunch of people, if he remembered correctly. That sounded...mundane. It'd be a good start.

His stomach began to rumble – now that he thought about it, he hadn't eaten anything since leaving Suna. He'd completely forgotten about food altogether. Would Tsunade mind if he helped himself to something in her fridge? Hopefully not. Leaving the room as quietly as he could, he tiptoed barefoot across the wooden floor, pausing after a few steps. The hallway was dark and he didn't know where the light switch was, so he waited for his eyes to adjust to the lack of light before moving again, walking slowly just in case he accidentally slammed into anything. Even so, the layout of the room was unfamiliar to him, and he managed to crash into the edge of one of the chairs sitting in the room. After that there was a near miss with the corner of the kitchen counter, and after a minute of sliding his fingers over the wall, he managed to find the switch belonging to the tiny lights embedded into the ceiling. Emerging relatively unscathed from his journey, he approached the fridge and looked inside, scanning its contents. There were a few bottles of water, some condiments, vegetables stored in drawers beneath the bottom shelf, and a box of what looked like plan white rice.

"We made that for you last night," a woman's voice told him. He turned towards Tsunade as she reached past him and pulled the container out, choosing to slam the fridge shut with her elbow. She was wearing a thick red robe that was wrapped tightly around her form, and her hair was wrapped up into a bun. "We didn't know what you like and don't like, so we figured some rice would be fine."

"Thank you," he said, nodding his head slightly. She handed him the container and one of the coloured condiment bottles, and then rummaged through one of the drawers beside the fridge before producing a pair of chopsticks. As he put his container into the microwave to heat up the rice, she moved over to the small pair of drapes that hung above the sink and pulled them apart. It didn't do much; the sun was still slowly climbing up the sky, but it did provide them with a pleasant view.

Gaara sat down and started to eat. He shovelled the food into his mouth in large bites, chewing the food slowly so he could savour each mouthful. Tsunade pulled out a bottle of sake from beneath the sink before taking a seat next to him. As he ate she began to leaf through a small pile of papers that he hadn't noticed on the counter.

"Alright," she said, glancing over the papers one by one. "Our messengers returned last night with all of these for us to sort through. We've had a pretty big number of requests for your presence at multiple events. You'll have to go to a lot of these, I'm afraid, but don't worry; anything you think you won't like, you don't need to go to."

"That was...fast," he commented.

"There's a lot to do," was her response. "We could spread everything out over your stay, only we're not really sure how long you're staying, are we?" He nodded. "Then it'll be easier if we get everything over and done with as quickly as possible. That's fine with you, right?"

"It's fine," he agreed, swallowing loudly.

"Good! So today we'll just ease you into things with a dinner at the Hyuuga compound."

"A dinner at the Hyuuga compound?"

"That's right. You'll be dining with Hyuuga Hiashi and his two daughters, one of whom I believe you may have met during the Chuunin exams."

"I don't exactly remember –"

"Whether you do or don't doesn't matter. The point is, at least you'll have someone your own age to talk to. I know how tiresome sitting around with a bunch of old men and women must be."

Unsure of how to respond, he chose to nod.

"So, Gaara, before I tell you who else you're going to visit and where you're going to go over the next week, is there anything specific you want to do while you're here?"

He swallowed another lump of rice. "Well, I was thinking about visiting Naruto."

"Oh. That's going to be hard," Tsunade remarked, scrunching up her nose and taking a large swig of sake. "He's out on a job with his team. Things have been pretty slow lately, so when the first good mission came along they made sure to snag it before anyone else could. They've only been gone for two days, I think. It may be a while before they return."

"I see..." Another bite.

"Isn't there anything else you want to do?"

"Nothing comes to mind," he replied honestly. "It doesn't really matter. I'll focus on these meetings for now, and when the time comes I'll figure something out."

She nodded thoughtfully and downed some more of her sake. He stared sideways at her. It had only now occurred to him that she was drinking alcohol, and that she was drinking alcohol in the morning. Just what kind of demonic tolerance did she have to the stuff? He watched her until she finished the rest of the bottle. Her eyes met his. "What are you staring at? This?" She shook the now-empty bottle, and he nodded. "Relax. You haven't seen anything yet. This is just to get me through the morning. You're not the only one who has a lot of meetings to attend. The other higher-ups have been barking in my ear since you got here. They're upset I didn't notify them about your visit, or this 'plan of ours', and they refuse to leave me alone." She waved one of the papers in front of her, a long white sheet which was covered in angry, illegible scrawling. "I'll take whatever help I can get to survive their wrath."

Well, he could certainly understand that. It seemed like no matter where he went, the officials were always the same. Old, proud, and extremely irritating.

"So...other than this dinner, what do I have to do while I'm here?" Gaara inquired, dragging his chopsticks along the bottom of the nearly-empty container. He gathered the last pieces of rice into one tiny ball and swallowed it whole. Finally, his stomach was satisfied, and he felt a little bit better.

"You'll have to attend quite a few pretend meetings with me," she replied. "Which means you'll need to hide out here or in my office with me for a reasonable amount of time. There may be a few real ones with the other officials, which means that we need to work on your cover story a bit more before we speak to them. And then, of course, you'll have to attend more dinners or lunches or whatever sort of meals people are inviting you to. I know it sounds like a lot, but once we're done with those you're free to do whatever you like while you're here."

She began to list all of the 'relaxing' activities that she could arrange for him, and he nodded attentively as he got up and moved to the sink to wash the container. Nothing she said really grabbed his attention, but even so he pretended to take them into consideration. Once he was done cleaning the small box, he set it aside where it could dry and leaned across the counter, folding his arms against his chest. Tsunade had stopped talking and was staring at him inquisitively.

"Do you have any clue about when you're going to return to Suna?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Knowing my siblings, I'll be here longer than just seven days. Temari will probably send a messenger when she wants me to return. Or she'll send Kankuro. Either way, until they do get in touch with us, they won't want me anywhere near the village."

"Hm." She dipped her head back as she finished off the last drops of sake in her bottle. "We can keep you busy for a week just with what I have here, but you realise that if you stay here for too long, it's going to get harder to keep people believing this charade, both in this village and in yours."

He lowered his head. "I don't want to cause any trouble –"

"Nonsense! This is the most fun I've had all month! You have no idea how long I've been waiting for something interesting to happen. Now get over here and help me finish planning your schedule. And grab me another bottle of sake while you're at it.

* * *

_Breathe in, and breathe out. Stay calm. _

Hinata repeated this mantra inside her head over and over again, but the restricting garments that clung to her figure limited the amount of oxygen she could take in. While the indigo flower-patterned kimono itself fit loosely and well, and the sheer white obi wrapped around her waist was comfortably secure, the undergarments the servants had supplied her with must have been at least a size too small. When she'd noticed this and informed them, they'd apologized profusely and told her there was no time to search for another one. It turned out the one they'd given her was the one she'd worn at the last formal dinner she'd attended, which had almost been two years ago. None of them had expected to see her at any of Hiashi's events, so they'd never thought to make her any new garments. And now, because the dinner was planned at such short-notice, there was no time for any adjustments. She'd just have to make do with what she had. So she'd forced her way into the undergarments, but it felt like with every passing minute the material grew tighter and tighter around her. She knew if she got up it would probably restrict her movements as well, but the small, shuffling steps she would have to take in order to walk properly wouldn't bring any attention to her – after all, these wooden sandals weren't exactly known for aiding mobility.

As one of the servants dragged an ebony pearl-studded comb through her long, dark hair, she fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat, wondering how much longer she would have to remain like this. She'd be glad when the night was over. The entire day had been dominated by preparations for this important occasion; there wasn't one room in the compound that hadn't been completely overturned and reorganized. Even her training regime had been completely wrecked. Hinata had managed to squeeze in a job around the city in the morning, but after that her father had ordered the servants to work on her until she looked "as presentable as possible," and from then on she hardly had a moment to herself.

_At least tonight it's just a small dinner, _she thought, trying to reassure herself as the servant dragged the comb through a particularly painful knot in her hair. Hinata had never been very good with events that involved large crowds of older, respected shinobi. They had always made her nervous in the past – what if she did something wrong; what if she made a mistake that shamed her family? She'd always managed to disappoint her father in some way or another. Either she stuttered too much, or she was too quiet, or she didn't have enough pride about her like a true Hyuuga should. It was why her father had stopped getting her to attend them anymore. But it wouldn't be the same this time, would it? _No! I won't drag myself down! I can do this! _After all, she'd changed over the last few months. Now, even though the familiar knot in her stomach was still there, things were different. Little by little she was gaining confidence in herself and her abilities. She was stronger. Even if she couldn't meet all of her father's expectations, even if she was still the same, stuttering shy little girl she'd always been, she'd make sure she didn't disappoint him.

"I'll do my best tonight!" she murmured with determination. She heard a small giggle behind her ear and her cheeks began to burn – she'd forgotten about the woman fixing her hair.

"There we are, all done, Hinata-sama," the woman said as she twisted the Hyuuga's hair into a neat bun. She stuck the comb in for support, brushed through the girl's fringe with her fingers, and stood back to admire her work.

Hinata stared at the reflection in the mirror opposite her. They'd gone easy on the make-up, choosing to line her eyes lightly and colour her cheeks and lips with a dusting of reddish-pink powder. Her hair looked amazing as well – the woman had somehow managed to make it appear healthier than ever, and it gave her a sort of air of elegance. "Thank you, Yui-san," she said, nodding her head towards the mirror. "It looks wonderful."

"You look wonderful, Hinata-sama," Yui replied, giving her a small smile. She crossed the room and peered through the window. The sun was sinking quickly in the sky, but apart from that and the trees that surrounded the compound, it was all she could see. "I think the Kazekage will be here soon. You should go downstairs and see your father. He'll want to know that you're ready."

"Ah, of course!" She lifted herself out of the chair and shuffled towards the door, trying to get used to the restrictions these fabrics had placed on her. As she carefully made her way down the stairs, she heard a yell from the gates. Their visitor had arrived!

Immediately she began to feel uneasy. A small grain of doubt was beginning to seep into her mind, and the temptation to turn around, go back up the stairs and prepare herself for this moment again had taken root within her. Well too little, too late. What had she told herself just a few minutes ago? That she would do her best. She wouldn't let a little bout of nervousness make her back down now.

Once she'd reached the landing, she took a deep breath. Servants were rushing around in the hallway, and at the far end she spotted her father and younger sister walking towards the entrance. She hurried towards them, fell into place behind the two, and once again attempted to steady her breathing.

It would be fine.

She was going to do her best, after all.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Here you go guys; it's Chapter 6! Thanks for reviewing, adding this to your favourites and following, it means a lot to me. c:

* * *

The front of the Hyuuga compound was completely packed with people.

At least, that was the way Hinata saw it. Although the dinner was limited to just Hiashi and his daughters, many members of the clan from both the main and branch families had come outside and crowded around the path in order to greet the Kazekage. At least half of the servants, dressed in their most formal attire, had come outside as well and lined up alongside the guards, already bowing low even though he had yet to cross the threshold.

Hinata couldn't see him very well – her view was blocked by the bodies standing before her, and although she caught glimpses through the spaces between them, it wasn't enough to give her a full picture. She and Hanabi had been instructed to wait by the door while their father went forward to welcome Gaara. She stood on her toes to gain a better vantage point, yet her relatives were much taller than her, and as a result she saw nothing but the tops of their heads.

A hush fell over the crowd. "Welcome to our home, Kazekage-sama," she heard her father say.

"Thank you for inviting me," Gaara replied.

For the next ten minutes she contented herself with fiddling around with the edges of her sleeves as Gaara and Hiashi slowly made their way to the house. The distance was as short as it could be, but they were forced to stop every so often and engage in small talk. Playing with her kimono soon grew dull. Her heels were beginning to grow sore, so she started to shift her weight from foot to foot. She snuck a glance at her sister, who was calm and composed, and certainly a lot less fidgety than her. Finally, when they reached the two girls waiting for them, Hinata snapped back into action and bowed forward, as did her sister.

"These are my daughters, Hanabi and Hinata," Hiashi said, gesturing at them. They repeated their father's greeting, and then waited for the two men to pass before returning inside.

The room that awaited them was its usual immaculate self, with its clean white walls and the polished porcelain ornaments that lined the shelves. Multiple vases stood alongside these ornaments, filled with bright yellow and white flowers that fluttered in the breeze from the open window. Their normal, plain gray curtains had been replaced with a shimmering white material, and were held back by thick, gold-tinted ropes that glittered in the low light. Their table, which sat almost right beside this window, was covered with a white tablecloth with gold-thread sewn into the edges in thin, swirling patterns. A small glass bowl filled with flower petals sat in the middle of the table, surrounded by the sparkling place settings which had been arranged for them. One of the servants was standing to the right of her seat, holding a wooden tray with four small, delicate0looking cups balanced atop it. They took their seats around the table – Hinata and Hanabi sat across from each other, while Hiashi and Gaara did the same. Hinata had to shift around in her seat before she could get comfortable – the slip she wore beneath her kimono fit awkwardly, and wasn't easy to ignore. The servant placed a steaming cup in front of each of them. Normally, the tea was always Hinata's favourite part of a dinner. She loved to blow the steam away, to admire the intricate designs of the birds that lined their best china, and to trace these designs with her fingers as she listened to the conversations of those around her. But now, however, she was more interested in their guest than in her teacup.

The last time she'd heard about him had been when Naruto and the other shinobi from the village had gone to rescue him from the Akatsuki. She'd heard that he had died, and then miraculously revived by one of Suna's elders. Taking a small sip of her tea, she peered at him through her eyelashes. She'd only seen him once before, long ago during the chaotic Chuunin exams, but already she remembered the thick black lines around his eyes, and the word etched into his forehead. He'd been intimidating before, but she felt even more intimidated by him now. His official robes gave him an unapproachable air, and the cool, emotionless expression he wore made it seem like he was somehow closed off from the rest of the room.

She caught her sister staring at her oddly from across the table, and fought off the blush that threatened to colour her cheeks. Had she been inspecting him too obviously? He and her father were deep in conversation, so neither of them had noticed anything. Even so, Hanabi raised her eyebrows at Hinata as if telling her to focus. Hanabi had a point – it had to have been at least ten minutes since they sat down, and everyone had already finished their tea except for her. She had no idea what they were talking about. It sounded like something to do with the politics between their villages. She quickly phased out again – politics bored her, and although she'd tried time and time again to fine some sort of interest in them – after all, as her father's daughter it was her duty to know these things – she couldn't. At least her little sister was listening intently and speaking up where she could, seeing as her knowledge wasn't as limited as Hinata's. It seemed like it wasn't necessary for her to do anything except drink her tea and stay quiet. Well, she could do that easily enough. Maybe getting through this night would be a lot simpler than expected.

The hours seemed to just drag on afterwards. She'd already figured out Hiashi didn't expect her to say much, as throughout the course of their meal she barely contributed to the conversation, speaking only when spoken to. Her interest in learning more about the Kazekage was still there, but she couldn't find the courage to ask him any questions. Instead, she stayed quiet, and was free to admire the patterns in her china as she ate. Although her mind wandered from time to time, she managed to keep track of what was going on around her, just in case.

_Is this thing getting tighter? _Hinata wondered irritably, nonchalantly tugging at her kimono and the material beneath it. Even though she was sitting down and barely moving, it felt like her slip was trying to constrict her. Or was it just her imagination? Giving it one last tug, she decided to distract herself from it by listening to the voices around her once more.

After the preliminary stiff and formal talk, and once her father had a few cups of sake in him, the discussion began to progress to a less formal area. Hinata noticed that Gaara had barely touched the alcohol; at the most he'd only had a cup.

"Tell me, Gaara-sama," Hiashi began, scooping up the remaining food from his bowl. "Have you had a chance to look around Konoha yet?"

"Not yet," Gaara replied. He toyed with the food in his bowl, which Hinata noticed was still half-full. "I have a few more meetings and dinners to attend over the next few days, so I haven't had the time to go around the village yet. It doesn't seem like much has changed since I was last here."

"Hm. But still, you'd like to explore it while you're here, wouldn't you?"

"Well, of course –"

"And has anybody in particular been assigned to show you our village?"

"Not yet, but –"

"Ah, I see, I see. Well then, when you find yourself without any obligations, Hinata would be more than happy to show you around."

_Hinata? _Her eyes snapped up from her bowl. _Me? _She looked at the two mean. Gaara was staring at her, and she found herself growing more and more self-conscious under his steady gaze. The way he was looking at her... it was almost like he seemed to just be recognizing he from somewhere. But that was normal, of course – he must've seen her before during the Chuunin exams. Her father's eyes had also settled on her, and she knew he was expecting her to speak up.

"O-of course," she managed to say. "It would be my pleasure to escort you around the village, Kazekage-sama." Hiashi seemed satisfied with her response, and turned back to their guest. She began to nibble on the ends of her chopsticks. What was her father planning?

"She's very busy with her training these days, but I'm sure we could arrange a time that would suit the both of you." Hiashi's comment brought her back to the matter at hand.

"It's alright; I wouldn't want to interfere with your plans –" Gaara was trying to speak directly to Hinata this time, but Hiashi cut him off.

"You wouldn't be interfering with anything. If it needs to be done, she can put in some extra hours to make up for lost time."

Gaara glanced at Hinata again. His gaze betrayed none of his thoughts, and once again she felt incredibly ill at ease. How could he be so intimidating?! Looking away, she stuffed a particularly large bit of food into her mouth and concentrated on the strong flavours dancing on her taste buds. She was sure her father was planning something with this arrangement. But what? The only thing she could think of was that he wanted to build a connection between their clan and the Suna officials, but he could do that himself, couldn't he?

They'd already resumed their conversation without her, and once again she was left to her own musings. They talked about the places he could visit, and the things he could do, and also about the people he would be meeting with over the next few days. Sooner than any of them had expected, the dinner had ended, and it was time for Gaara to take his leave.

"Thank you for a lovely meal," he said, getting up from his seat.

"It was no trouble at all," Hiashi replied. He stood up, and his daughters followed suit. "You're welcome to come here again any time. Hinata will take you to the gate."

"Ah, yes! Follow me, Kazekage-sama," she told him. They walked into the hallway in silence, neither of them sure what to say. Rather than trying to come up with a topic for conversation, her thoughts were focused on the chafing together of her thighs caused by her undergarments. Walking was becoming harder – she couldn't stretch out her legs properly, and had to settle with taking the smallest steps possible at the fastest pace she could manage in order to remain ahead of him.

She tried her best to shuffle forward quickly without looking odd, but it seemed like her odd gait had already caught his attention.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Eh?" They were outside now, and in the distance she could see his guide chatting with the guards at the gate. A cold breeze blew past her, playing with the hem of her kimono and the ends of her fringe.

"You don't seem to be walking very easily," he commented, his hand moving uncertainly towards her as she hobbled forward.

She blushed. "Ah, n-no, I'm fine!" she insisted, waving away his remark. She plastered a smile onto her face. "Erm, when would you like me to show you around our village?"

"I can't quite remember my schedule right now, but I think I may have some free time tomorrow afternoon. Would that be alright with you?"

"It's perfect!" she responded immediately. It was getting harder for her to keep up this cheerful facade; the fabric was rubbing uncomfortably against her skin, and it felt like it had undergone a transformation from soft, silky material to sandpaper. It took all of her willpower not to stop walking right there. She needed to get out of this thing! Once they were halfway down the path, she came to a halt, and he followed suit. This was as far as she could go.

"Where should we meet? I can come meet you here, if you'd like."

"Oh, no, I couldn't make you do that. If it's easier, I can come to you."

"No, no, I insist. We'll meet here."

"Okay." She gave him a small bow. "It was nice to meet you."

"And you. I'll see you tomorrow."

They turned away from each other and went down their respective paths; he met his guide at the gates, and she returned to her home. As soon as she was inside, she rushed towards the staircase, wanting nothing more than to get out of these insanely tight clothes and into something much looser, like a thick, comfy pair of pyjamas.

Taking the steps one at a time, because two was simply impossible at that moment, she started up the stairs to her room but was stopped mid-step when she heard her name being called. She looked back and found her father standing at the foot of the stairs. He didn't look happy. She bit her lip. Had she done something wrong?

"Did you make plans with the Kazekage?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied. "W-we're going to meet on Thursday."

"Good," he said. "I'm trusting you with the task of building a relationship with him."

"Huh?!" he wanted her to 'build a relationship' with him?! What did that even mean?!

"You two are the same age. You can get along easily. If our clan develops connections with him, it would benefit us enormously. I have too many other obligations to do this myself, so I'm counting on you to make this happen. Can you handle it?"

So that was why he'd decided to use her in this plan of his. A small smile threatened at the corners of her lips. Not once in her life had her father ever displayed any sort of desire to give her any kind of responsibility. After all, he'd never believed her capable of doing anything properly. The fact that he was standing there telling her now that he was _relying _on her had to be a sign. Finally, all her hard work was beginning to pay off!

"I won't let you down," she promised.

"I hope so." Nodding slightly, he turned around and briskly walked away. Hinata wheeled around and skipped up the stairs, a slight bounce in her step.

Even though her ill-fitting undergarments caused her skipping to be slightly off, and resulted in her accidentally slamming her shin into the corner of one of the stairs, she couldn't feel a thing. All she was aware of was the warmth that her father's words had brought to her.

_He trusts me!_

* * *

"So you had a good time, then?"

Gaara nodded. He hadn't been in the apartment for more than one minute before Tsunade returned from her office and pounced on him, refusing to leave him be until he gave her every single detail about the dinner. He didn't understand why she was so interested, but she was allowing him to stay in her home, after all, and the least he could do was answer her questions.

Tsunade picked her half-full bottle of sake up from the counter and finished off what was left of it.

"I'm surprise you managed to enjoy yourself," she confessed, twirling the empty bottle in her fingers. He'd been trying his hardest not to count, but so far, this must've been her third one. "Is talking business really that interesting to you?"

"It's my job," he replied simply.

"But still, you must've been able to talk about other things," she said.

"We did discuss my plans while I'm in the village, and I've made arrangements to tour the village with one of his daughters tomorrow."

"Do you mean Hinata?"

"Yes, that's her."

"Oh, so you two talked then?"

"She barely spoke throughout the dinner."

"Ah, well, she's naturally a rather quiet girl."

But she'd stood out.

He couldn't explain it, but there was something about her that had drawn his attention to her over and over again throughout the dinner. She'd seemed so out of place at that table. She was polite, very well-mannered, and she had a rather pleasant, soft yet melodic way of speaking. There was something so...so calm about her presence. But at that point in time, it seemed to him that she was uncomfortable. Through her air of politeness it seemed like she was nervous, and like she didn't want to be there. It was a great contrast to her father and sister, who were practically oozing confidence and pride.

The one thing about her that he simply couldn't get out of his mind was her eyes. _It was her, _he'd thought the first time she actually looked directly at him. _She's the girl I saw! _Immediately he'd wanted to speak to her more, to have her look at him, to gaze into those eyes and lose all sense of reality as he had before, but instead he was trapped in conversation with her father, and she never said a word.

Although he'd been pushed into the whole ordeal of having her take him around the town, he was rather glad it was with her. Maybe he'd have a chance to get to know her. Or something.

"Oi, quit daydreaming and take the bottle."

"Huh?"

He blinked in surprise. Sometime or another Tsunade had gotten up and grabbed another two bottles of sake, and was now offering one to him.

"You barely drank anything tonight, right? I think we should change that."

"Erm, no thank you. I'm fine."

"C'mon, are you really going to make me sit here and drink alone?" she whined. "I've had a long, hard day, and all I'm asking for is some company. I wouldn't be asking you if Shizune was here, but she's still in the office, sorting through the work that I – delayed taking action on."

"...I guess I could drink some –"

"Great! Here you go!"

She forced the bottle into his fingers and then returned to her own seat, a content smile on her face. He couldn't tell whether or not this was a drunken motion or if she was actually sober and just a very pushy person.

_Yeah, sake! _the voice, who he'd now dubbed 'Shukaku', exclaimed with joy. _That's exactly what I've been waiting for, Gaara; some lowered inhibitions! I kind of like this lady now. Maybe we'll make her death less painful than the rest, eh?_

Tuning it out, he took a large swig of sake and started a new line of conversation with Tsunade, asking her to tell him about the other clans which he would have to dine with. For the first half hour the conversation remained in this area, until Tsunade had finished her fourth bottle and Gaara was on his second one, and ten they began to go off-track, moving on to topics that were less like those between two village leaders and were more like those of two gossiping schoolgirls. Gaara was already feeling the effects of the sake – the alcohol was intensifying his reaction to Tsunade's stories, which had now moved on to the troubles she'd gotten into when getting a little bit too drunk in her office. To his immense surprise, there were many stories to be told.

"I'll tell you, it's all fun and games until someone walks in while you're standing on your desk half-naked and slurring out one of the many corny love songs you've heard at a karaoke bar."

He stifled a laugh. "Did you actually do that?!"

"Oh yeah. I got quite an audience as well."

"Why were you half-naked?"

"I think the question I had in mind at that time was 'Why aren't I half-naked?'"

"So you just did it."

"So I just did it."

He shook his head, unable to fathom the workings of this woman's mind.

"But enough about me – don't you have any funny stories from your office?"

"Me?" He looked up, trying to sort through his muddled and bleary thoughts. "My time in the office...no, there hasn't been anything like that. A lot has happened to Kankuro, definitely, but not much to me."

"What's happened to him?"

"I don't even know where to begin!" Grinning, he beckoned her in closer. "Let's just say that thanks to his antics, the medical staff has had to be trained in multiple unorthodox emergency responses, including the extraction of splinters from certain sensitive areas of the body."

Tsunade burst out laughing at that, and Gaara felt himself joining in. He swallowed down what was left of his bottle, ignoring the spinning in his head. He didn't normally drink more than a few cups of sake, and most of the time that was during formal events where it was simply required. Hell, he didn't know how much he could tolerate before ending up completely out of his head. Sure, this wasn't the smartest thing to be doing, but hey, he was technically on a 'vacation'. Might as well get as much relaxation out of it as he possibly could.

Moving his gaze back to the Hokage, he realised that something was amiss with her appearance. He just couldn't tell what.

"Are you alright?" she asked, slightly unnerved by the way he was leering at her forehead

"Fine," he muttered. His eyes landed on what appeared to be a small scratch just above her eyebrow. Was that really what had attracted his attention? A scratch?

No, that wasn't it. It seemed like the entire right side of her face within the region of the scratch was changing – wrinkles were beginning to form around her eye and cheek, and her skin began to take on a crumpled texture.

"What's going on?"

"Eh?"

"With your face," he explained, gesturing at his own.

She started to press on the wrinkled side of her face, but it looked like she couldn't feel anything different. As she pulled her fingers away, Gaara's stomach gave a violent lurch as he witnessed a patch of her skin cling to her fingers and peel off her face, revealing the bright pink flesh beneath it. Tiny beads of blood ran down from the edges of the torn piece of skin, and there were tiny holes dotting the flesh, as though hundreds of tiny bugs were eating right through it. The rest of her skin beyond the scratch began to curl up and fall off of its own accord, and soon bits of flesh started dropping off as well, hitting the ground with a sickening _splat._

She stared at him with a baffled expression, unable to comprehend why he looked so horrified.

"Everything feels fine," she said, scratching at the slightly rotting flesh and revealing the stark white bone beneath it.

"Stop!" he yelled, his panic inducing his voice to raise three octaves. "Don't scratch it!"

"Why not?" She brushed a lock of hair away from her face, and the bits of tissue that had gathered on her fingers now clung to the blond strands – could she really not feel that?!

What the hell was going on?!

He reached his limit when she continued speaking – on one side she looked normal and, well, alive! But watching the other side of her face was like watching a corpse speak to him; he could do nothing but stare, morbidly fascinated by the way her jaw moved, the way her eyeball stuck out of its socket and seemed ready to just pop out at any given time. And still all the time as her jaw moved up and down more flesh bounced off, surrounding her feet with a layer of what looked like pink mush.

_Do you like it, Gaara? Because if you do, we could make this become a reality, you know._

_YOU'RE DOING THIS?! _he screamed at the voice. _STOP IT!_

_Now why would I do that? _Shukaku asked mockingly. _C'mon, you want it, I want it, and you have to admit, this is a lot more fun than just crushing her. Peeling her away layer by layer until there's nothing left, I think it's brilliant! And if we keep her alive we get to see more blood spill – not to mention there'll be a lot more screaming as well._

_STOP DOING THIS TO ME!_

_I'll admit, I'm surprised I can even do this much while you're still awake. Silly Kazekage, you should've avoided the sake._

"Gaara?" she'd noticed that he wasn't listening to her. "Are you alright?"

He was transfixed by her appearance – he wanted to look away, but it was impossible. She moved in closer, and he felt a glob of skin and tissue drop onto his hand, and in his head he could hear her imaginary screams as Shukaku tried to demonstrate how the entire scenario would go.

_See, if we cracked her skull just like this – _

A line appeared in her skull, and an entire fragment clattered to the ground, revealing the greyish-pink matter within. Horrified, Gaara slammed a hand over his mouth, holding back the bile that had risen from his throat.

She realised something was wrong, and got off her chair with the intention of getting closer to him and checking him out, but he leapt off his own chair, backing away immediately.

"S-stay back!" he stammered, swiping his bottle off the counter and waving it around him defensively. His gourd was in his room, but he could feel the vibrations of the sand buzzing around, ready to slide out through the crack under the doorway and attack if necessary.

"What's wrong?" She didn't look human any more – she was a monster, a reanimated corpse from one of his nightmares that was out to get him.

He waved his bottle in her direction, ignoring the small rivulet of sake that sloshed out of the bottle and onto his clothing. "Stay back!" he ordered again.

She reached her hand out to him, fingernails stained with blood and tissue. He panicked and threw the bottle at her. The alcohol must have affected his aim – it flew way off to the left and slammed into the wall, breaking to pieces. She turned to it in confusion, and he used the opportunity to dash into his room and bolt the door shut behind him.

_Aw, was that too much for you? _Shukaku asked as Gaara slid down to the ground. _I'll try to tone it down next time. Hahahahaha!_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **To my lovely followers, I give you Chapter 7. :)

* * *

Temari scanned the contents of the file again, going through the ANBU's neatly compiled report at a lightning pace. She had no time for the little details; she only wanted results. And from what she could see written before her, although they'd spent two full days working on the case, there simply were no results to be had at the moment.

The men who'd attacked Gaara had been easy enough to identify, but only because Suna's authorities had run into them before. They were foreigners – two hired assassins from some miniscule village she'd never even heard of. The ANBU had tried to trace their employer's steps in order to figure out their identities, but since they had no leads, nor anyone to interrogate, the investigation had come to a standstill.

That is, until this morning, when they'd found a message for them scrawled crudely onto the outer wall of the Kazekage's Office in thick black paint.

_DOWN WITH THE KAZEKAGE! _The wall had screamed, so loudly that passers-by couldn't help but crowd around the building, whispering to each other; most curiously, some even fearfully, and a few, more silently, as it would be dangerous for their whispers to be heard.

No-one knew who'd painted it, nor how they'd managed to do it without any of the guards noticing, but there had been no time to question it – they had to make it disappear. They'd been successful in that part at least, as the stone had easily been wiped clean, but they'd done so too late; the people had seen it, and they were talking.

Realising she'd allow her mind to stray from the task at hand, Temari cursed loudly and went back to poring over the document, deciding to actually read the damned thing properly this time, and to scrutinize every single sentence written in the hopes that she may be able to find some sort of small detail that would reveal everything to them.

She heard the familiar obnoxiously loud footsteps belonging to her brother and looked up just as he entered the office. He didn't need to say a word; the exasperation lining his face was a clear sign that he'd failed to find anything new. Although she betrayed nothing to him, he already knew how disappointed she was, only because he felt exactly the same. They were both tired, and angry, and neither of them would be able to rest until they destroyed the men who'd tried to murder their brother.

But for now, as bitter a thought it was, they had to accept that they had nothing.

"This report is useless," Temari proclaimed loudly, throwing it at Kankuro. He caught it expertly and lifted the cover, scanning the pages at a pace she'd never thought possible of him.

"Throwing it around isn't going to make it useful," he grumbled. "There's nothing good in here?"

"Nothing," she said. Sighing, she swung her feet up onto her desk and leaned back in her chair. "What're we going to do?"

"I don't know." He sank in the chair opposite hers and rested his chin in his palm.

They sat in silence, neither of them sure where to go next. They could've complained to each other some more, but what was the point? All throughout the clean-up operation they'd sworn and cursed and snapped at any living soul who dared to approach them – and no-one did, so they attacked each other instead. But after a while they'd grown tired of that, and separated, both searching for their own leads, hoping that their combined efforts would get them more than the efforts of the ANBU.

Yet here they were, and neither of them had anything to show for themselves.

"They must be hiding somewhere in the city." He didn't sound like he was stating anything particular – it came out as more of a musing than anything else.

"Obviously. The problem is we don't know where, or how many people are in on this. We don't know if they're just messing around or if they actually mean business. Are they skilled? Are they just a couple of idiots? We have absolutely nothing to go on, Kankuro."

"But wouldn't finding their base of operations get us a step closer to catching them?"

"Yes, it would, but unless you have some brilliant idea on how to find it then I don't want to hear another word from you."

"Well, now that I think about it, I might have an idea."

Swivelling around in her chair, she lowered her feet and leaned forward, interested to hear what nonsense would come out of her brother's mouth this time.

"Okay, so I was talking with the authorities earlier, trying to find out if any of the guys they'd dealt with lately could have something to do with this. And what I learnt from them is that apparently there's been a lot of stuff going on in the village lately – and I'm talking fights breaking out in bars, vandalism, and, a whole lot of graffiti like today's."

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, how could all of this be going on and we haven't heard anything about it?"

"We were all supposed to discuss it in a meeting a few days ago, but then Gaara..." he didn't finish his sentence. "Well, it was postponed. But the point is, I don't think these are all just random occurrences. Those guys who planned the assassination attempt could be doing this in order to gain support for their cause."

"You mean they're trying to _recruit_ people?"

"In their position, wouldn't you?"

She didn't answer, and he carried on. "That means that they need manpower; so it's a small group, but possibly growing. And now they're getting a little more vocal about it. But if we can find where this originated, or maybe even people they've attempted to recruit, or just people who've overheard them talking, we could find their base, or even better, them."

A slightly smug expression formed on his face, only to vanish immediately when in one powerful motion his sister had brought her fist smashing down onto his head.

"Ow ow OW!" he yelled, clutching his head in his hands. "What the hell was that for?!"

"If you had an idea like that then why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?!" she exclaimed.

"I hadn't actually come up with it until I said it! And even I know it's not the biggest lead in the world."

"But it's _something_! Do you know how long I've been sitting around here just trying to think of something to get me out there? Come on, your head will be fine. Let's go already!"

* * *

"Low alcohol tolerance?"

"Yeah. I'm something of a lightweight."

That was his excuse for his behaviour the night before. As soon as he'd woken up that morning, he'd known he would have to come up with some sort of explanation for his behaviour the night before. A tiny part of him had wanted to tell her the truth, but the truth just didn't have as nice a ring to it. He couldn't even bear to see her now, in case the image resurfaced in his head. Thanks to the sake the night had all become blurry, but even so he still couldn't look her in the eye. Instead he chose to focus on a spot on the wall behind her, close to her ear. So, rather than tell her that thanks to a weakened state of mind and a homicidal voice inside his head he'd hallucinated her peeling half of her face off, he decided to tell her it was nothing more than a drunken delusion.

"I'm not the most pleasant of drunks, so I don't normally drink much. I shouldn't have drunk so much yesterday, so I apologize for that. It's really nothing to worry about."

Just as he'd expected, Tsunade wasn't planning on letting it go.

"It didn't look like it was nothing to worry about. What did you see?"

"Nothing, really."

"Nothing? You were _terrified._"

"It was just a bad memory, that's all. I have quite a few of those. But I'm fine."

He really didn't enjoy this. It was disrespectful – she'd let him into her home, she was helping him even though she knew he was hiding information, and yet he couldn't bring himself to admit the truth. What was he afraid of, really? She had no ulterior motives. And healing was her specialty. Maybe she could help him understand what was wrong with him.

But he didn't want to share what he'd seen. He didn't want to tell her that there was a little voice in his head seething with murderous intent. No matter how good her intentions were, there were just some things that other people really didn't need to know, no matter how helpful they could prove to be.

She sighed and crossed her arms. "I get the feeling there's a lot more going on in your head than you'd like people to think."

"Really?" He snuck a glance at her, and immediately looked elsewhere when her eyes caught his.

"Mhm. So what do you think? Are you going to tell me the truth?"

"I already have."

"Keeping it all to yourself isn't healthy, you know. And neither is lying."

"..."

With a resigned wave of her hand, she gave up. "It's too early in the morning for this, and my head is pounding. I'll get something out of you sooner or later, but if we keep this going on any longer then we'll be late for our meeting, and we _still _haven't even thought of what we're going to say."

This meeting, as it turned out, was nothing more than a sort of introductory session between him and the officials of Konoha, where he and Tsunade managed to convince them that yes, this plan had been in the works for months, and yes, they should have informed everyone about it, and gone through the proper channels to arrange it, but they were afraid of negative reactions, seeing as the relationship between the two villages wasn't exactly the strongest of ties. He and the Hokage had rehearsed this little explanation of theirs prior to the meeting, so everything came out seamlessly and naturally, as though they were speaking from months of secret planning and negotiations, when really, it was all just pieces off a script they'd come up with just minutes prior.

Everyone had shown enthusiasm, or rather, in some cases, feigned enthusiasm, but seeing as this plan was never really destined to be set into motion, did it really matter?

Gaara didn't really care. He'd only been half-present during the whole thing anyway – the other half of him had been on constant alert for Shukaku, who, for some reason, had decided to remain silent throughout the whole thing. When the meeting was over and they were all shaking hands and getting ready to return to their usual business, he realised that when he tried to he couldn't actually recall most of what had been said.

_You've got to keep it together, _he told himself as he walked through the hallway beside Tsunade. _Focus! He won't get to you like that again. He can't._

"We did well!" she said cheerfully, giving him a celebratory clap on the back. "I've got to say, I didn't think we'd be so convincing!"

"It'll be harder next time," he commented, folding his arms across his chest. "They'll expect that we've already written up documents and made plans, since we've been working at this for so long."

"We'll come up with them," she said. "Tonight. Even if it takes us until morning, we'll do it. But first, I have other things to do, and you have a tour set up with Hinata."

How could he forget? Surprisingly enough, he was looking forward to this little daytrip through the village. It would be nice to get outside, to see the sun and the sights. It would also be nice to put a bit of space between him and Tsunade. He knew exactly what Shukaku wanted to do with her, which gave him all the more incentive not to spend too much time with her today. Better to be safe than sorry.

She'd wanted to send him to the Hyuuga household with a guide, but he rejected the idea, telling her that he could easily find the way on his own. He took the same path from the day before, a winding one that went through what appeared to be a shopping district. He tried to ignore the stares and whispers of the villagers he passed, chalking their actions down to their curiosity. He was the Kazekage, after all, and whether he liked it or not, he was a public figure. People were interested in him. Still, he couldn't help but feel discomforted, and quickened his pace.

The guards who greeted him at the gates were the same ones he'd met with his guide – they allowed him to enter immediately, chorusing a cheerful "Welcome, Kazekage-sama!" as he passed through. Walking in, he noticed that things were back to normal in the compound – or at least, to what he assumed was their normal state. People were simply milling about, others working on some sort of task; in the corner there was a middle-aged man humming tunelessly to himself as he watered a row of flowers, and to his right there were two women lugging baskets of laundry into the main house. He wasn't sure where to go, but luckily one of the servants had seen him hesitate, and upon being asked where Hinata-sama was, informed him that she was in the middle of training with her cousin, and that he could find her in the first structure following the path to his left.

He found her exactly where they'd said she would be. She was in the midst of a friendly spar with her cousin, and, loathe to interrupt her, he chose to hover in the doorway until they were finished. Neither participant noticed him, and they continued to barrage one another with attacks, seemingly equal in power. His eyes followed the both of them in the beginning, but within a few minutes he found himself drawn only to Hinata. She looked completely different to the girl he'd met the night before – there, she'd been awkward, and appeared uncomfortable in her own skin; here, she was lithe and graceful. Although she was slowly being overpowered, he could see the skill in her moves, the speed, and the elegance.

She was stunning.

_If we broke her legs she couldn't spin like that anymore._

_Be quiet._

"Good afternoon, Kazekage-sama," her cousin said. She he had seen him, then. "We'll be just another minute." This one, he definitely remembered. Hyuuga Neji. Wasn't he some sort of prodigy in this clan? He'd been properly introduced to him just the day before. He'd fought against Hinata during the Chuunin exams, hadn't he? Gaara hadn't realised who'd been fighting in that match up until now. Their faces had never mattered to him. He'd only remembered the blood.

Hinata, who'd only just registered his presence, stumbled, giving Neji the opportunity he needed to deal the finishing blow – or at least, to mime it. His arm shot out like a spear, jabbing her lightly right above her chest.

"Try not to be so easily distracted," he advised her, retracting his hand. "Be ready for anything. If you lose focus, you'll give the enemy an opening."

She blushed and nodded furiously, trying to hide her embarrassment beneath a serious facade.

"Forgive me for keeping you waiting, Kazekage-sama," she said.

He waved her apology away. "It's fine. I've only been here for a minute."

"Why don't you go and wash up?" Neji suggested to her. "I'll keep him company until you're ready."

Apologizing once again for the wait, she bolted out of the building, clearly determined to finish up as quickly as possible. Gaara hadn't seen Neji the night before, so he ended up being asked the same generic questions Hiashi had asked him in order to pass the time – how do you like Konoha, how is your work progressing, what exactly do your plans with Tsunade entail, and so on.

_This is boring, _Shukaku moaned, drowning out the Hyuuga's words with its own petulant tone. _Why don't we just sew his lips shut? Or cut out his tongue?_

Gaara answered Neji's inquiries as best as he could while still trying to ignore the voice. _Hey, I'm talking to you! Do we have to keep on listening to this guy? He's annoying._

"Quiet!" Gaara hissed under his breath, accidentally responding aloud.

Neji raised an eyebrow. "Did you say something?"

"Not at all. What were you saying?"

_You're even worse than him. If you're not going to kill him then what's the point of standing around here? _Once again it found itself being tuned out. _Ugh. You're so dull. I think I like you better when you're intoxicated._

Hinata finally returned, looking refreshed and revitalized.

"Thanks," she said. He nodded slightly and then said goodbye to the both of them. "So, Kazekage-sama, sh-shall we get going?"

"Yes, let's."

They left the compound then, and Gaara found himself feeling more at ease as soon as they were beyond the gates and on their own, walking down a slightly crowded, sunny street to the centre of the village. It seemed like Hinata may not have felt the same – she seemed to be more tense than relaxed. _Is she nervous? _he wondered, sneaking a glance at her. He wouldn't be surprised if she was. After all, he didn't have the friendliest appearance. They'd been walking in silence for a while, and Gaara racked his brain for anything to say to her, wishing to start some sort of conversation.

"I'm sorry I distracted you earlier."

"Eh?" his statement had surprised her, and a puzzled expression crossed her face.

"I made you lose your match."

"Ah, n-no, you didn't, not at all! I was losing l-long before I noticed you."

"You still had time to turn things around, though."

"Neji is a lot better than me," she replied, clasping her fingers together. "He would have won in the end."

_She says it like she's certain of it, _he mused.

_She must be a weakling, _the voice whispered back. _Admittedly, they're not as fun to kill, but they sure do scream a lot. I don't know about you, but I like my prey to have a bit of kick to them._

"Well I didn't see much, but it looked like you were more of a challenge than you think," he commented. He noticed her blush once again, but this time she seemed less embarrassed, and a bit more...proud?

"Really?" she asked, meeting his gaze. It took a lot of effort for him not to look away - somehow, as strange as it was, he felt like if he looked too long, she would see inside him.

"That's what I think," he said firmly.

Her lips curved into a large smile, and he felt himself smiling in return. But as quickly as it came it disappeared, and suddenly Hinata was apologizing once more. "I'm so sorry, Kazekage-sama, we've only been talking about me!" She scanned their surroundings – they'd nearly reached their destination, and although the streets were now packed with both the shinobi and civilians of Konoha alike, many people were also seated in the cafés and restaurants, eating their lunches under the afternoon sun. They stopped in front of one of these restaurants. "Is there anywhere specific you'd like me to take you?"

"I'll leave the tour up to you," he said. "I have another meeting I need to attend in a few hours, so why don't you just show me a few of the places nearby?" Recalling the conversation he'd had with Tsunade when he'd first arrived, he found a few places coming to mind. "Tsunade-sama told me I should visit the public baths while I'm here, as well as your 'Tea Avenue'."

"Of course! We'll go to those places, then."

In that instant she snapped into her tour guide mode, and for the next two hours led him through the village. Although they'd settled on a few destinations, they moved slowly so that they could stop at any other shop or building he found interesting. Their first stop was the public baths, which were filled at that time with tired shinobi who'd just returned to the village from a mission. Deciding to come again another time, they switched directions and went a bit out of their way to visit the Memorial Stone, which Hinata thought he might like to see. Whenever he asked about a certain name and their story she impressed him by reciting their stories perfectly, as though she knew them by heart. They then passed by Yamanaka Flowers, where the shopkeeper, a blonde girl with large blue eyes, had stopped them both upon spotting them outside.

"Hinata-chan!" she'd called out, waving from the doorway. "And the Kazekage! I'd heard you were in the village! Welcome! What are you guys doing?"

"Hello, Ino-san!" Hinata said. She told Ino about their plan, and the girl had wanted them to get into the shop, as she felt it was definitely one of Konoha's most important sights to see. They'd politely declined, telling her they already had a plan, but he would definitely return another day.

"Alright," Ino sighed. "But really, Hinata-chan, I haven't seen you in such a long time! Don't be a stranger, okay? Come out with me and the girls tonight!"

"I d-don't think I can make it. Maybe another night."

"Oh, come on! What about you, Gaara-sama? Feel like joining a bunch of girls for a night on the town?"

"Unfortunately I have work to do with Tsunade-sama."

"Alright you two, I get it, you're busy. Run along now, I'll see you another day!"

"Okay," they chorused.

The road led them to Konoha's Tea Avenue, a street filled with sweet shops and restaurants, and a very popular spot for people of all ages to come and visit during their free time. Although they didn't stop in any of the shops, they did stop outside a particular one called Amaguriama, which was apparently the most popular shop there.

"This is one of my favourite places to go to," Hinata admitted, staring fondly through the window. "Th-their sweet bean paste is some of the most delicious I've ever tasted."

"Huh." He glanced at the shop for a second, but as they had throughout the trip, his eyes somehow found their way back to her. "Could I treat you to some?"

"Eh?!"

"You've been a fantastic guide today, and I'd like to thank you somehow."

"Oh, no, no, it's not necessary at all!" Hinata said, shaking her head furiously. "I absolutely couldn't let you do that."

"But I insist."

They kept on going back and forth until at last, tired with his efforts, Gaara gave in. "Alright, Hinata-sama, you win," he said. "But I still have a bit of time left until I have to be at my meeting. What do you propose we do to pass the time away?"

* * *

"This is a lovely area."

Hinata nodded in agreement as she strolled alongside the Kazekage through one of the prettier residential areas. He'd tried and tried to convince her into letting him treat her to some sweet bean paste in Amaguriama, but she'd been stubborn, feeling that it was simply inappropriate to allow him to spend any money on her. And so, rather than stop anywhere he might try to offer her anything once again, she decided to take him through some of the areas he hadn't seen.

As they walked, she went over their time together in her head, trying to figure out whether or not she'd acted the right way. That morning she'd told herself she would be breezy; easy-going, interesting, intelligent. She felt the need to impress him. She didn't want him to see the shy, weak girl she used to be. She wanted him to see the strong person she was becoming. If she was going to do as her father asked and build ties with him and their family, she needed to make an impression.

When she'd lost her match, she had felt as though things were only going to go downhill from there. _Damn it damn it damn it! _She'd thought in frustration as she ran out to wash up. _First impressions always matter the most; I'd been hoping to get a good one today. And then this happens! Argh! He's going to think I'm so pathetic! _

But then he'd complimented her. She was so accustomed to being instantly judged by those around her that it completely baffled her when he only had kind words to say. Maybe she'd misjudged him the first time around. She'd expected to be on her guard at all times throughout his tour, that she'd need to watch everything she said to make sure nothing stupid slipped out. Instead, she'd felt as calm as she did when talking to Kiba or Shino, and without realising the change that was taking place, began speaking to him less formally. All thoughts of arrangements and responsibility left her, and she unconsciously decided to just enjoy his company.

"Could I ask you a kind of personal question?"

Her words seemed to bring him out of a reverie. "Of course," he replied.

"Is it hard?" she asked. "Being the Kazekage, I mean. I-it's just, you're so young, and..." she trailed off, afraid she was being offensive. He seemed completely unaffected, however.

"It can be difficult at times," he answered. "But I think I handle it pretty well. Temari and Kankuro are always there when I need help, which happens often; the elders tend to argue amongst each other a lot, so it's hard to make decisions straight away. It's rare for everyone to agree, actually." A small smile came to his face. "Then there's paperwork, decisions to be made, speeches, negotiations with other villages – when I think about it, in only the past month there's been so much to do. I enjoy the work, though. All I want to do is help my village grow and improve, and give my villagers the best lives they can have. No matter how busy and overwhelming it gets, if I can manage at least that, I'll be happy."

"I see," she murmured, awed by his dedication to his job.

"That's enough of that; why talk about work now? Tell me about yourself, Hinata-sama. What are your dreams?"

"M-my dreams?"

"Yes."

She flushed bright red as she spoke, and she looked away. "I...I want to be able to help my clan. I want to be strong for them, and become a person who can lead them...I want to make them proud. That's my dream."

Looking up at him, she found him staring at her with an indescribable look in his eyes. "D-do you miss Sunagakure?" she asked quickly, unable to hold his gaze anymore.

"Hm?"

"I was just wondering; w-when you travel, you leave a lot behind, and it's easy to get homesick...it sounds like you miss your village."

A shadow passed over his face, as though her words had brought an unpleasant memory to mind, but it vanished so quickly she wasn't sure whether it'd actually been there.

"I do miss it," he said finally. "It's my home. But right now, I'm really enjoying my stay here." He gave her a small grin, and she felt the corners of her own lips twitch. "You have a very interesting way of life here."

The time for them to part came sooner than expected, and she found herself oddly disappointed by this. They'd decided to split up when they reached the end of the road; he would make his way back to the Hokage Tower, and she would return home.

"Thank you for a wonderful tour, Hinata-sama," he said, bowing his head. "I'm grateful to you for it. I also feel like I should apologize – last night it felt like you had been pushed into this whole arrangement without any say of your own."

Her cheeks were on fire – he'd noticed?! "N-no, no, it was my pleasure!"

"Well, you must let me thank you somehow."

"You don't have to –"

"I know. But I want to. I'll be in touch with you soon."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Thanks for being so patient with me guys! Enjoy!

* * *

Another uneventful day of meetings and meals with upper-class villagers came and went, and all too soon the time had come for another round of forging documents he and the Hokage had 'written up' long ago. Even now after all the effort he'd seen Tsunade put into this cover story, he still couldn't believe just how dedicated she was to helping him make this work. Somehow she had managed to transform it from a simple white lie to the most intricately designed falsehood in Konoha, and what was more, not only were both the officials in Konoha and Suna actually buying it; they wanted to develop it even further. Communications between the villages had doubled since his arrival, and it seemed like even the sceptics were becoming enthusiastic.

"They want a _trial mission_?" he asked in disbelief. "Already?"

Tsunade nodded as she scratched her signature into the latest form they were working on, a sheet which was meant to be one of the letters she'd sent to him during their secret correspondence. "It'll be a long time before they actually do it, obviously; not to mention there's still a lot we have to organize before they can even begin to dream up some sort of blueprint for it." An impish smile appeared on her face, and she stopped handling papers to take a swig from the half-empty bottle of sake beside her. "They're just a bit over-excited. We were pretty damn convincing, eh? Looks like you won't be getting that vacation you wanted after all."

"I feel much more relaxed when I work," he said, organizing the papers into separate stacks.

_It's so boring when you work._

"Really? Just thinking about it gives me a headache!" She started working on a new document, and then hesitated midway through the first sentence. "Say, have you heard any news from home? Not about this, but about the investigation."

He shook his head and silently continued his work. He'd sent multiple letters to his sister in the beginning, asking her to keep him informed of every single ongoing in the village, and to let him know immediately if they found the culprits so that he could return as soon as possible, yet neither of his siblings had thought it prudent to inform him of anything. It looked like they'd decided to leave him completely in the dark. Throughout his first day in Konoha he'd waited desperately for any response, but now, having nearly completely adjusted to his surroundings, he didn't mind being left out that much. Now he wasn't just sitting around twiddling his fingers; he was actually doing something for his village, even if nobody had intended it that way in the beginning. Things were calmer here, and in turn, they were calming him down.

But it wasn't only these things which made his stay worthwhile.

He'd found something other than work which managed to hold his attention.

_It doesn't hold __**my **__attention, though. You know what would? Getting out of this god damn apartment and killing something! _

"I'm sure your siblings will sort everything out in no time," Tsunade continued, stretching her fingers out before her. "But until then we get to enjoy all this lovely paperwork together."

"I can't imagine anything more exciting."

"My sentiments exactly."

Their conversation would have gone along pleasantly enough had he been oblivious to the furtive glances in his direction, yet he was well aware of her perceptive gaze, and was determined to act normally around her. He'd let himself relax too much before, and what had that gotten him? An all too vivid hallucination of the Hokage peeling her own face off.

_You're welcome for that, by the way. Ingrate. _

_Get lost, _Gaara hissed silently. Shukaku had been unusually quiet lately, and he needed it to stay that way. It wouldn't do for him to start talking to himself now – he wanted to get rid of Tsunade's suspicions, not increase them tenfold. He'd decided to give up on any form of sleep longer than half an hour while under her roof, lest the nightmares return and his screams be heard.

_I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'M BORED!_

He flinched, the roar in his ears momentarily deafening him. _Bored? Then get out of my head and do something on your own._

_Why don't you stop holding yourself back already? I'm tired of this goody two-shoes Kazekage act you've got going on when you know all you want to do is break some bones._ Sights, sounds, smells, they flew around him like a hailstorm, but he'd been prepared for this as soon as the voice had shown up again, and with a mental shove he hurled it all away. _H-hey, no fair! What the hell was that?!_

_I told you already, _Gaara said inwardly, _I won't let you beat me. _

For the first time, the voice chose not to respond. Feeling a bit proud of himself for having subdued it so easily, he carried on his work with a newfound enthusiasm. The Hokage noticed the change in his demeanour and asked; "Thinking about something nice?"

"I'm considering which parts of your village I'd like to see next," he replied quickly.

"Would you like me to assign you a guide? Or would you rather try to see if Hinata has any spare time? You looked like you really enjoyed your time with her."

"I did," he agreed. "I still need to find some way to thank her for the tour."

Tsunade smiled at this. "Why don't you get her something?"

"I tried, but she was adamant with her refusal."

"So what, you're just going to give up?" She stood up, and with that Gaara considered to be incredibly unnatural strength, she yanked him off his chair and half-dragged him down the hall. "Go on, find her something nice!"

"But don't we have work to do?!"

"Consider this our tea-break."

Although initially reluctant to abandon their duties simply to go along with his whims, he decided to accept the opportunity offered to him, and without any need of further persuasion hurried along on his way. He'd buy her something nice and then give it to her himself, he decided, so that she wouldn't be able to refuse it.

It also meant he'd get to see her again, but he wasn't really focused on that bit.

Not really.

As soon as he was out of the apartment his eyes swept over the street, searching for...wait, what did he want to find? What was he even going to get her? Initially, his plan had been to buy her some of that sweet bean paste she said she liked, but for the life of him he could not remember where the shop was. Normally he would have been focused on the route they were taking, but it seemed like other things had caught hold of his attention. So he'd have to get her something else then, preferably before the day came to a close.

Ambling aimlessly through the village, somehow he wound up outside the flower shop they'd stopped at, the one with the amiable blonde shopkeeper. _Why don't I get her flowers? Girls like flowers. _Well, Temari didn't have any particular affinity towards them, but she'd never been the most feminine of girls, anyhow.

_I completely agree, _Shukaku piped up, returning from whatever depths it had disappeared into.

"Welcome to Yamanka – oh, Gaara-sama, it's you! I didn't expect to see you so soon!"

Ino had spied her prospective customer through the window, and was leaning through the doorway, beckoning him inside. "What can I do for you?"

"I think I'd like to buy some flowers," he told her, following her into the shop.

"Great!" she beamed. "Who are they for?"

"Hinata-sama."

Her eyes widened slightly, and her smile grew impossibly big. "You're getting flowers for Hinata-chan?"

"Yes. To thank her for showing me around yesterday."

"That's so sweet of you! I'll definitely come up with something nice for her." Unable to stop grinning, she whisked her head round, searching for just the right combination to use. "I slept over at her house once before. It's not the most welcoming of homes, is it?"

He absentmindedly nodded in agreement, watching with interest as she leapt into action and began to scurry left and right, working through the displays in all the corners of the room. She started with only a sheet of patterned plastic, but slowly the bouquet started to form in her hands – using large white flowers whose petals had a dusty rose outline, she made up the base, and then dotted the spaces between with light brown branches covered in tiny magenta flowers. She took her time taking them out and putting them back into the plastic, rearranging them this way and that until finally she was satisfied with the way they looked.

"I don't want to do too much," she murmured to herself, twisting the bouquet around. "In Hinata's case less is definitely more..." Her eyes swivelled back to him. "What do you think?"

"I think it's already lovely," he said honestly. "It looks simple, and elegant...anything more would be too much."

His comment made the smile return to her face, and, for the finishing touch, she wrapped a thick yellow ribbon around the plastic, and curled the loose strands that hung down using a pair of scissors.

"There we go – that's just what it needed." She handed him the flowers and stepped back to admire her work.

"How much is it?" he asked.

"It's on the house."

"What?"

"You heard me. It's free. A special arrangement for the Kazekage."

"But I really should pay –"

"I refuse to accept your money! Return any other day, and you can buy whatever you like. For this arrangement, I won't charge you a thing."

Perplexed by her behaviour, he decided not to argue and instead promised to come back again and actually buy something. She was still grinning as she sent him on his way; her mood must've been contagious, because as he strolled down the street that would take him halfway to his goal, he felt his own state of mind beginning to brighten.

_That was odd, _he mused, still trying to understand why she hadn't charged him.

_Females are odd_, the voice agreed solemnly. _But they're a hundred times more fun to tear apart than men, eh?_

_Do me a favour and stop popping up out of the blue. Or just disappear forever. Either one will do._

_Get rid of me then, _the voice ordered mockingly. _If you want me gone so bad, all you have to do is make me go away._

"If only that were possible," he sighed aloud. Refocusing on the world outside his head, he realised that there seemed to be some sort of spotlight on him; the amount of people gawking at him had somehow doubled compared to all the other times he'd been out among the denizens of Konoha. It didn't take him long to realise the bouquet he held tightly had turned into a magnet – it drew their eyes to him, and then the whispers would begin, and the exchanging of looks followed right after that. There he was; former violent psychopath turned Kazekage, walking through Konoha with a bunch of flowers at his side.

_It is pretty fucking weird._

_I can't blame them for staring. I'd do the same._

_Since we're in agreement, how about you throw that shit away and go do something more productive with your time?_

_How about you just shut up instead?_

The voice chuckled. _Am I finally starting to get to you, oh great Kazekage-sama? Good! I've been way too fucking bored lately. Please, entertain me._

_I'm – wait, is that her?_

Through the corner of his eye he'd spotted the familiar dark-haired figure step out from the building in front of him and wave to someone in the doorway. He hadn't expected to see her so soon, and it completely threw him off. He was overcome with a rush of anticipation, and his palms – were they getting warmer? Or was that just his imagination? Why was he getting so keyed up about this? What was the big deal?

"Hinata-sama!"

She nearly leapt five feet into the air when he called her. "Eh?" It took her a moment to realise who had called her. "Kazekage-sama?"

"It's good to see you," Gaara said, crossing the distance between them. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"Not at all!" she replied. Her pale eyes wandered down to the bouquet he held and lingered there for a second. Snatching her gaze away, she peeked up at him, unconsciously twiddling her fingers before her. "What can I do for you?"

"These," he told her, holding out the flowers, "are for you." She stared at them in bewilderment, as though she couldn't quite fathom what he was saying. _She looks so genuinely surprised, _he observed, waiting for her to take them from him. It made him feel quite a bit satisfied with himself. She hadn't been expecting it, and that made the impact of the gesture all the greater. "I wanted to express my gratitude to you for the other day," he added, thinking she may require more information. _Don't tell me she's actually going to try to reject them._

Composing herself, Hinata's voice took on a formal tone as she bowed her head low, hiding her face behind her fringe; "They're lovely," she said, "But I couldn't accept them – your thanks alone is enough –" She fell silent when his fingers closed around her hand and pulled it forward. Prying her fingers open with his free hand, he forced the bouquet into them and then pressed them closed around it.

"I'll be extremely disappointed if you don't accept them."

"I...I...Thank you," she finally managed to say, her lips curving into a cheerful yet embarrassed smile. "It's very thoughtful of you. I'm grateful."

Once again that rush bore straight through him, and suddenly it became clear to him that giving her the flowers had never been his sole intention.

He had to make sure this wasn't the last time they would meet.

"I'm glad you like them." The corners of his mouth twitched, but he kept his expression steady. "But that's not the only reason I wanted to talk to you."

"Huh?"

"I'd like to make plans with you again," he said.

"For another tour?" she blinked innocently. He opened his mouth to answer, but suddenly she'd began anxiously babbling away, talking about how there were many places she could still show him, only he may grow bored during the trip so they could always take a break in between sites, yet they might not actually be able to prepare it this way if he didn't have enough free time, so they might have to squish everything together, or maybe they could spread it over two days, really, whichever he was more comfortable with. She spoke so quickly that he struggled to follow her stream of consciousness, and decided that maybe he would have to be a bit more direct than he'd initially expected.

"I didn't mean I wanted another tour; I meant I'd like to take you out sometime."

Had she understood? "Oh, no, no, you really don't need to thank me again!" she exclaimed, hugging the arrangement close to her chest. "These are more than enough!"

She hadn't. He stared at her blankly, an action he could tell unnerved her, because she immediately launched into an apology; "I d-don't mean to offend you, it's just that I couldn't let you do that, this is already so much, and clearly..."

_You've got to be kidding me_, Shukaku sniggered, blocking out the girl's uneasy chatter. _She's absolutely clueless! Totally dense! It's fantastic!_

_I didn't ask for your opinion, _Gaara snapped back irritably.

_Aw, come on! I was only going to say that if you were a bit more human, she'd be absolutely perfect for you! Maybe we'll let her die faster than the rest, eh?_

_Don't even think about saying another word._

_Are you sure about that? I have a lot to share, and so little people who share my way of thinking._

The silence that ensued was the only indication that both the voice and the girl had become mute. She was visibly agitated, most likely because he'd gone quiet and she assumed it was because she'd somehow managed to tick him off, which wasn't the case at all.

Wishing to remedy the situation quickly, he decided that rather than beat around the bush, he wanted to cut right through it. "That's not quite the reason I want to take you out, Hinata-sama. I'd like to take you on a date."

"A what?"

"A date."

"A date?"

"Yes."

_She's just as dense as I thought she was! _the voice cackled.

"You and me?"

"That's what I was hoping; I'm asking you, aren't I?"

The effect of his words was instantaneous; Hinata turned a violent shade of red – so bright that her cheeks had almost taken on the exact same colour as his hair – and when she tried to speak all that came out was a long string of incoherent stutters. She appeared so troubled by his words that he immediately regretted telling her anything.

"Are you alright?" he asked, leaning a bit closer to her. In response she instantly shoved the flowers in between them, hiding her discomposure behind the sweet-smelling plants. "...If you want to say no, that's fine."

"N-no!" Although her voice was muffled by the plastic, he'd heard her clearly. So she'd said no. Huh. He hadn't really considered the possibility that that might happen. So he wouldn't get to spend any more time with her. That was okay. He had lots of work to catch up on anyway – this might actually turn out to be beneficial to him. Look at the bright side of this dilemma; that was what he needed to do.

_You're so fucking pathetic._

_I know._

He almost didn't notice her lowering the bouquet slightly, but when the rustling of the plastic made him glance in her direction, he noticed her large lavender eyes were looking intently into his own, though the rest of her face remained concealed. To his immense astonishment, she continued; "I-i don't mean n-no like that, like I'm s-saying no, b-because th-that's not what I wanted to say – I m-mean, I want to s-say yes! I'd l-love to go on a date with you."

* * *

Normally, Hinata wasn't so easily distracted.

Whenever she set herself a task, the worldly matters that normally plagued her mind ceased to be important, and she'd enter a state of complete concentration. Nothing could pull her out until she'd finished everything she needed to finish. Today things were different. While she was meant to be reading over a scroll her father had left for her detailing the lives of many of the older members of their clan, her attention kept on wandering back to the vase on her shelf, within which Gaara's gift rested.

_They're so pretty._

She'd gone into town to meet with her team and discuss their missions – or rather, lack thereof. Kurenai promised to keep her eye out for anything, but so far nothing had come up. Hinata hadn't seen her friends in a while, so it had been nice to spend some time laughing and catching up with them; she hadn't realised how much she'd missed them.

What she hadn't expected upon leaving their company was to run into the Kazekage - or, would she soon be calling him Gaara? Her cheeks heated up, and she buried her face in her hands, the mere notion setting her heart pounding. She still couldn't believe she'd actually been asked out on a date! He'd seemed surprised when she'd said yes, but what on earth did he have to be surprised about? He was handsome, intelligent; he must've had girls falling all over him in Suna! She was the one who was really surprised. The intensity of the disbelief she'd felt at his request could've moved mountains! She didn't understand what was going on in his head, nor could she come up with any sort of explanation for this occurrence. Yet, she hadn't needed any time to consider it; before she knew what she was saying, she'd already agreed to go out with him.

Pushing the scroll aside, she gave up on her reading and leaned back in her chair. A sweet aroma floated in the air, emanating from the flowers on her shelf. She inhaled deeply, and then exhaled, attempting to sort out her thoughts.

"Why me?" she wondered aloud, clasping her hands together behind the back of her chair. _Why did he ask me? _It didn't matter which way she looked at it; she couldn't think of a plausible explanation. At the same time, she didn't want to over think it. Whether or not she understood it, that didn't matter, right? Yet, just as she'd thought that, another question came to mind – why did she say yes? Her reaction had been automatic; the cogs in her brain had whirled at a rapid-fire pace, and the words had simply slipped out of her mouth before she had a chance to think about what she was doing. For the longest time, her heart had belonged to the blonde jinchuriki. And although over the past few months time had dimmed it down, she had always hoped one day her unrequited love may be returned. By agreeing to this date, did it mean that somehow, she had moved on, or was ready to move on? Or had she simply agreed because it would make it easier to fulfil her father's wishes of forming a bond with the Kazekage?

Her reverie was cut short by a loud knock on her door. "C-come in!" she called out, hastily grabbing the scroll and bringing it back to her. Luckily, it wasn't her father coming to check up on her like she'd expected – "Neji-nii-san!"

"Still hard at work?" he asked, stepping over the threshold.

"I can finish it later," she replied. "What's going on?"

"I thought we could plan our training schedule for the next couple of days; my teammates want to go on a hike outside of the city, and Gai-sensei won't take no for an answer." His eyes roamed over her room for a second before settling on the vibrant-coloured plants which hadn't been there before.

"Those are pretty," he remarked. "Did you get them from Yamanaka Flowers?"

"They were a p-present," she informed him.

"Really? From who?"

"The Kazekage."

Neji raised an eyebrow. "The Kazekage gave them to you? Himself?" She nodded. "That was generous of him." She avoided looking at him directly, wishing for the first time her cousin wasn't as perceptive as usual. "Does this mean you've made more arrangements to meet him again? Word has gotten around the clan that you're meant to be getting closer to him."

Her body betrayed her for what felt like the millionth time that day; her cheeks took on a bright shade of scarlet, and she stammered out "We've m-made plans for two days from now – i-it's the only free time he has this week."

"What do you plan on doing?"

"I don't exactly know."

"You don't know? Aren't you the one deciding where to go? Your last trip with him was short – didn't you say there was a lot he still hasn't seen yet?"

"Well, it's not exactly up to me..."

"Why not?"

"I think he'll be deciding what we do..."

"Yet you don't have any idea what that is?"

"It's not anything really official..."

Hinata could tell that her vague answers had already piqued Neji's suspicions, and not for the first time in her life, wished she wasn't such an open book.

"So what is it, then?"

"I'm not going a-as his guide," she confessed, watching through her peripheral vision as his brow shot up once again. "I'm going as his...as his d-date."

Until now, she'd felt as though she were dreaming, and it was only the action of speaking these words aloud that brought her through the fog and into the crisp, clear air of reality, where she, Hyuuga Hinata, timid heiress of the Hyuuga clan had accepted Sabaku no Gaara's proposal of a romantic rendezvous. Everything she felt; her doubt, her embarrassment, her excitement, all of it was multiplied tenfold, and she had to start breathing again if she didn't want it to overcome her.

"I wasn't expecting that," Neji admitted, his cool demeanour influencing calm in the panicking girl. "And after only meeting you twice. It sounds like you've bewitched him."

_Bewitched him?!_ Neji's choice of wording brought a bubble of laughter out of her, and she started playing with the ends of her hair, a soothing mechanism she normally used in such awkward situations as this.

"We should get to changing our training schedule," she told him, attempting to change the subject altogether. "That's what you came to do, right?"

He went along with the change willingly, most likely because there was nothing more he felt he needed to know. Grateful for his compliance, she chatted merrily with him as they laid out their agenda, yet all the while she found her concentration dimming, and her attention kept on wandering back to the vase on her shelf.

* * *

"Tsunade-sama, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Hush, Shizune! I'm trying to write!"

Furrowing her brow, Tsunade went back to the letter on her counter. The one she didn't want Gaara to know she was writing.

He put up a good front, she had to admit. After that night he'd run screaming from her, she'd been watching him intently, trying to see whether it had really been just a drunken hallucination, or whether it was actually something to worry about. Since then he'd betrayed no signs of instability; at least, not while he was with her, yet all the same she couldn't shake the feeling that he was hiding something.

"I think he's a bit unbalanced," she told her faithful assistant, scrawling the exact same sentence onto the paper before her. The woman opened her mouth to disagree, but was quickly cut off, her protest having been predicted already. "You can't tell if you're not looking for it. But I can see it. Something's going on within him, something that I'm afraid might cause him a lot of trouble if he doesn't get rid of it. Hell, it might've even caused him some trouble at home; maybe that's the real reason he came here." Pausing her writing, she glanced at Shizune, who was biting her lip nervously, clearly uncomfortable with the whole idea. "Don't get too worked up; it's all just one big assumption. I could be wrong. I don't think I am, but I could be."

"Hypothetically speaking, if you're right, do you think Temari would tell you now?" Shizune asked, watching as her leader returned to her work. "They chose not to tell you anything before. If there is something, it's clear they don't want anyone else to know about it."

"Yeah, well, tough luck for them. I think they could use some help, and I'm willing to give them all the help in the world as long as they tell us the truth." Exhaling loudly, she began to chew on the end of her pen, a bad habit she'd developed over the years. "I really want to help him too, Shizune. He's such a loyal, hardworking young man. He deserves to go through life without that haunted look in his eyes."

"Are you sure it's something you'll be able to fix?"

"I don't know. That's why we need all the information we can get. From there on we can decide what to do."

Finishing off the letter with her title and signature, she rolled up the scroll, sealed it shut and handed it to Shizune. "I want this in Sunagakure by tonight; and add an additional note that no-one but his sister can lay eyes on it. Alright?"

Shizune nodded and hastily exited the room, leaving Tsunade to her own devices – or well, device; a newly opened bottle of sake. Soon the young Kazekage would return without any knowledge of what had transpired during his absence, and they would continue their forgery as usual. Until she received an answer from Temari, there was really nothing else she could do but wait for the time to pass. Having always been an impatient woman, this was certainly going to prove difficult for the Hokage, but hey, while she didn't have all the time in the world, she certainly had all the alcohol, and that would be more than enough to keep her satisfied.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Hey guys, sorry this update took so long, but I had a bout of writers' block that I just couldn't get rid of. It's why this chapter is shorter than most of my others, actually. But don't worry, I promise I'll make the next one longer! Thanks for your reviews, favourites, etc. and please keep on telling me what you think, I love reading your thoughts and reactions every chapter.

* * *

"...Well, _fuck_."

Kankuro looked up from the letter in his hands to Temari, who was seated opposite him at the other end of their small dining table, her stoic countenance hiding any sign that she'd heard him. She stared down into her bowl, granting her breakfast all of her attention. Her face was a perfect portrait of calm. No-one would suspect anything was wrong. But he knew her. He could see the signs, the way she'd continue to gnaw on her spoon long after she'd cleared it of her food, and occasionally give the leg of her chair a good kick with her heel, a simple reflex reaction to an unpleasant recollection. She was upset. Incredibly so. He'd seen her hide her true emotions from people hundreds of times before, but rarely did she direct this technique towards him. Her silence, although reasonable, worried him.

Temari was always completely sure of herself when it came to deciding what was best for her siblings. She'd prided herself on being able to give the right advice and, over the last three years, had made sure that even if she wasn't in any position to help, she'd use any method possible to aid her brothers, all for the sake of keeping her safe. Her hesitance to speak could only mean that for the first time in a long time, Temari didn't know what the right choice to make was.

Confess their fears about their younger brother's sanity to the Hokage, or keep it a secret, protect him from the judging eyes of the shinobi who surrounded him, and possibly deprive him of the help of one of the greatest healers in this generation.

The letter had inspired a great uneasiness within him, but after reading it, he felt he knew what the answer should be. The burden of this decision was enormous, and he couldn't let Temari bear it alone. He had to take the lead, if only for the sake of his distressed sister. This time he'd be the one to make the right choice.

But first, he needed to get her attention.

Taking a deep breath, he broke the silence. "I think we should tell her."

That did the trick.

"Eh?" Incredulous, she gaped at him, her food completely forgotten. "What the hell are you saying? How could you make such a half-assed decision like that five seconds after you finish reading that thing?!"

His opinions had the tendency to upset his elder sister. This time was no different. "First of all, I read it twice, okay? Let's just make that clear. Secondly, it's not a half-assed decision. It's more like a 'spur of the moment' decision. Either way, I think it's the right thing to do."

"Are you insane?" She pointed her spoon at him accusingly, and for a second he feared she may disregard its actual function and use it as a weapon. "We can't do that! They won't understand what's going on with him, they're not going to try to help him! She may have good intentions, but what about everyone else? Telling her gets us one step closer to the villagers finding out, and people out there are already giving him crap. The only reason we have most of the people behind our government right now is because he gave up his old ways years ago; what if they learnt about those two assassins? What if they heard that he's unstable? They'll be _afraid_, Kankuro, and all that's going to give us is a great heaping pile of opposition."

"What if they didn't find out?" he argued, folding his arms across his chest. "You're acting like she's going to spill it to the whole world. You had enough faith in her to send him to Konoha without so much as a second thought, so why not have faith in her now? She wants to help us! Think about it for a second: have we really made any progress? We haven't heard from Gaara since he got there, and this letter only proves our plan isn't working like we wanted it to. The investigation is still going strong, yet we still haven't found anything definite. The people are getting restless – how long do you really think we can keep Gaara away from here without raising any suspicions? At this point, I think we could use all the help we can get."

"I don't think it will work," she muttered. Her frown grew deeper, and she bit on the end of her spoon irritably, like she wanted to cut right through it. "Gaara never told us about anything. He'd never tell her, either. There's no way. So what is there for us to tell her? Nothing. Sure, she says she can _see_ it in the way he behaves, but that's just speculation on her part. One of the reasons we couldn't do anything is because he refused to confide in us! Nothing in Konoha is going to get him to change his mind."

"Are you sure about that? Don't you think we should take the chance to find out? If shit hits the fan, well, at least we can say that we tried, right? We gave it a shot. And once that's done, we'll figure out how to fix it."

"And what if she just can't help him? What if we find out that there's nothing we can do, and he has to go on living with whatever's haunting him? Am I supposed to just sit back and accept that?!"

Oh. So that's what was eating at her the most, wasn't it? She didn't want to take this chance, not if it meant her worst case scenario was made real.

"I doubt that'll be the outcome."

"But _what if_, Kankuro?! It's always a possibility, isn't it!"

"Yes, it is, but there are hundreds of other possibilities too. We could end up with any one of them. So why should we be afraid to act?"

"...Fine."

"Hm?"

"We'll do it. We'll tell her. There."

"You agree with me?"

"I agree with you, damn it." She spoke the words reluctantly, but all the same a small, appreciative smile crossed her face. "Thank you."

"You're absolutely welcome."

* * *

_I'm...outside?_

That didn't make sense. Just a minute ago Gaara had been in his room, hunched over his desk with a bunch of official papers at hand, depending on the tiny script to fight off the exhaustion that loomed over his head and begged him to sleep, if only for just a few minutes.

This wasn't the case any longer. Within this dimly lit place, he was wide awake, and completely baffled. No matter which way he looked, all he would see was clusters of trees; dark, skeletal, with not even a leaf or flower growing on them – only branches, long and thick, which wove so neat a net in the air that the woodland became more of an enclosed space than anything else, with only tiny flashes of sunlight managing to peek through the gaps. The air was bitterly cold, and the chill seeped into his clothes, unwilling to be forgotten. The ground beneath his feet was barren and bone dry, partially hidden by a light mist that crept around his feet, as though it was necessary to conceal the emptiness of this place. It looked like a forest, but it was completely devoid of life.

_How did I get here?_

He was utterly dumbfounded. This place was unlike any he'd ever seen before. There was absolutely no way it could be a part of the Land of Fire, but then again, there was no way it was a part of any of the other lands either! Was he dreaming? It was certainly possible. This surreal atmosphere felt more familiar him than the lucid tones of the waking world. He'd been lost in his dreams so many times before that he'd become accustomed to questioning whether he was awake or asleep, a habit which had become more prevalent lately. It wouldn't surprise him if this was another one of those times where he had to take the time to distinguish what was real and what was simply another figment of his imagination.

Well, just standing around and questioning his state of mind wasn't going to do him much good. He needed to act.

Hesitantly yet firmly, he took his first step forward, and then his second, walking with a strong, determined gait through these alien surroundings, all the while trying to block out the erratic thumping of his heart. He didn't know how long he continued down this invisible path, nor how far he got – in this place he had no proper grasp of time, and the bleak scenery never changed. He walked as straight a path as he could, yet for all he knew he could've been going around in circles. Had he passed this tree before? It looked so much like all the others. The way the branches twisted and curved above his head, it was all the same everywhere he looked. Was he really making any progress? Or had he simply deceived himself?

_This is definitely a dream, _he decided, coming to a halt beside one of the trees he may or may not have passed once before. _It's one of Shukaku's god damn creations, isn't it? It wants to mess with me again!_

"WHAT'S YOUR PLAN?!" he yelled, his voice lost among the trees. He received no response; only an urge to fill the silence. "I'm tired of your games!" He knew the voice's tricks by now. Sooner or later there would be blood, corpses, some sort of horror show from his past, something meant to throw him off, to make him doubt himself once again.

Gaara was ready for whatever was going to come next.

Or at least, that's what he thought.

A muffled sound to his left caught his attention, and his head snapped to the side, just as a shadowy figure melted away into the trees. He automatically set after it, having decided to face everything that came at him head on.

"Why are you running away?!" he called after it. His words spurred the figure onward, and he sped up, yet even at his fastest pace he clearly wasn't going fast enough; minutes went by, and he couldn't catch up. This situation was definitely different to those he'd experienced before – normally, he didn't have to chase the horrors Shukaku set for him. But he had no time to think, no time to second-guess his strategy; he could only keep on running.

This time around, things were different.

Removing his gaze from the figure's back for just a second, he became aware that the spaces between the trees were growing wider and wider, and the wooden roof above him was tearing apart, allowing rays of light to shine through the holes. Something was happening. His surroundings were changing. He paid no attention to it, however, assuming it was unimportant, and continued onwards until the moment they burst out of the darkness and into a sunlit clearing, where the stranger stumbled over their feet and fell headfirst onto the ground.

His brain had decided he'd visit multiple dreamscapes while he was unconscious – at least, that was the only way he could rationalise the environmental transformation that had taken place here. Overgrown grass enveloped his feet, changing colours and swaying in the warm breeze; the clearing was framed by sprawling trees which boasted vibrantly coloured flowers amongst the dark green foliage. A tiny ladybug landed on his finger and crawled along for a second, then flew away in panic when he moved to brush it off. It made absolutely no sense for such a place to exist here.

Gaara snapped back to the matter at hand when he spied the figure picking itself up after its unceremonious fall. With a bound so long he wasn't sure whether he'd run or flown, he clamped his hand down in an iron grip around the person's wrist, and forcefully turned them around, ready to face them, ready to face anything –

But not ready to face her.

The girl's lavender eyes were wide and full of terror, an emotion he was not unfamiliar with. She quivered in his grip, her lower lip trembling uncontrollably, giving the impression that she was trying to speak. Her face and clothes were stained with dried blood, and where her skin showed from beneath her shadowy black attire he could see patches of dull yellows and purples marking her limbs. What was one glittering dark blue hair was dulled with dirt and bits of grass.

She was in horrible condition. The lines in her face told him she'd been through hell and back, through a struggle that could have lasted days, maybe even weeks, something that had kept her panicked and running for a long, long time.

And she hadn't escaped it just yet.

"H...Hina...ta?" he choked on her name, unable to say it properly. Unwilling to say it. This couldn't be her, not here, not now, not in this screwed up imagination of his. He didn't want her here; why was she here; she shouldn't be here! "What...what happened to you?"

"P-please," she stammered out in a hoarse, weak voice, "let me go!"

"Tell me what happened to you!" he ordered, unconsciously tightening his grip on her. She winced and tried to pull away, but it was futile.

"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?"

Her outburst caught him off-guard, and, bewildered, he could only gape as tears pooled in her eyes. _What the hell is going on?!_

"Is this some kind of game to you?!" she yelled. Her words flew out of her at lightning speed, overflowing with rage, anguish, and, most troubling of all, they were directed straight at him. "Why did you have to do this to us?! To my friends! I never thought you were the kind of person who would do something like that..." she trailed off, glassy eyes staring at her trapped hand, seeing something that he didn't. "You wouldn't even let me die with them...why...why didn't you just kill me?" She brought her gaze up to him, and never had anything made his chest tighten so much as the bitter tears that steamed down her cheeks. "It's been days...I thought I'd finally gotten away...How did you find me?!"

"I...I don't...understand?" he couldn't even form a coherent sentence. The shock had taken over his body; his tongue felt huge and swollen within his mouth, and his mind was working slower than it ever had before. But his vision worked fine, and this forced him to acknowledge everything in front of him. To acknowledge her.

She seemed to disregard his worlds, and he felt her previously rigid wrist go limp beneath his fingers. Without warning, she collapsed to the ground, and he was dragged down along with her, both of them landing on their knees – one with a resigned expression on her face, the other perplexed.

"Did I...do something to you?" he asked quietly.

She scowled at him, disbelief colouring her expression. "Are you joking?! We welcomed you into our village, and then you did _that_! Didn't you like it there? With us?" She used her free hand to wipe the tears away from her eyes, shutting them tightly to prevent any more from spilling. "Why did you have to kill them? W-why...why did you have to make me listen to their s-s-screams..." The motion was useless – her tears were falling uncontrollably now. A few dripped onto his fingers, burning into his skin like acid. "I couldn't s-save them! I c-c-couldn't do anything! Y-you took away m-m-my home...m-my family...everyone...they're a-all gone...W-why didn't you just kill me?"

He didn't hear her question – he was too busy trying to comprehend her story. Was what she saying true? This vague description of past events made no sense at all to him, but the one fact she'd made perfectly clear was that he had killed.

_Did...did I really do that? _Uncertainty hit him like a ton of bricks. Had he gone off the rails? Could he have really done this? Did he kill them? What if he had? _No! I can't doubt myself like this! I didn't do it! I didn't do anything like that! This is just a dream! A nightmare! This is all Shukaku's design!_

"Hinata, you – what you're saying, it can't be right!" he said, earning himself a bemused stare. "I would never do that!"

"It can't be right?! I saw it all! _YOU FORCED ME TO WATCH IT ALL_!"

Her words were a spell; the world melted around him, yet his sight gained a kind of clarity he'd never experienced before. Colours and shapes writhed around him, melding together to form the familiar oddly-constructed buildings and gray roads of Konoha. He tried to turn his head, but he couldn't feel his body. Scanning his range of vision, he looked down, and glimpsed a body whose proportions and clothing did not belong to him.

_Is this...Hinata? _he wondered. _Am I looking at the village...through her eyes? _

One by one, the roads started to fill with happy, smiling people, who spoke to each other in bright tones and lazily made their way down the pavement. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to be looking at, until, in a blink of an eye, madness descended upon the memory. Finally, he understood Hinata's appearance, her frenzy, her fear. She was held in place by something he couldn't see, most likely sand, forcing her to watch powerlessly as waves of sparkling sand engulfed the people of the village, drowning some, crushing others, turning the usually crowded streets into a corpse-filled desert that resembled the worlds in his nightmares. No-one could run, no-one could hide; if you were in his path, you would be taken down, and only by sheer luck would you receive a quick death. Amidst all the chaos he stood in the middle, a jagged crack running down his cheek like a fracture in a mask, sporting a maniacal grin that spread from ear to ear. He was soaked in blood, too, but oh, he didn't mind in the least bit, screaming out the words with passionate vigour: "Come on, I'm not satisfied yet! I WANT MORE!"

Slowly, he turned his gaze onto...himself? No, onto Hinata! Within this memory Gaara could feel everything she felt, and he felt the tightening of her lungs as her comrades were cut down before her eyes, and the shiver that ran down her spine as the cause of their deaths casually strolled through the carnage towards her, his glowing green eyes telling her all she needed to know; he'd trapped her here to make her suffer, to break her, and now that he was done, now that he'd enjoyed each of her anguished cries that followed every death, he was going to kill her.

And then he was back in the clearing, hunched over and gasping for breath, trying hard not to let the things he'd felt in her memory shatter his already fragile state.

What had he just experienced?

How the hell was he supposed to rationalize that?!

"I...I thought we were friends."

Her voice was so small, so timid, that he'd almost not heard her. "W-weren't w-e supposed to be friends?!"

"We are friends!" he exclaimed automatically. He finally released her wrist, and, in an effort to convince her of his sincerity, wrapped his hands around hers. "Hinata, I know what you say, but that wasn't me! I mean...it was me, but it couldn't have been, because I would never do that! You have to believe me, I'm not like that anymore! I would never hurt your friends! I would never hurt you! I promise!"

"You...promise?!" Hysteria bubbled out of her, and she let out a loud, grief-stricken cry. Immediately, he regretted speaking, knowing he'd said the wrong thing, and there would be consequence for his ill-chosen words.

"What kind of _monster _are you?!" she hissed. "After everything you've done, how could you say that? Stop toying with me!" With a strength he hadn't expected, she snatched her hand away from him. "It's all your fault! Everything is all your fault! You're a demon! Monster! I should have realised it sooner, I should have known!" Her hands groped around her pocket, and clamped down on something he couldn't quite see. "I should have never trusted you! They're all gone now! What am I supposed to do?! Why couldn't I do anything?!"

"...Hinata?"

Any piece of composure she'd managed to hold on to left her. She was trembling violently, sobbing her heart out, and all the while muttering something over and over and over again under her breath. How was he supposed to make her calm down when he could barely do that for himself? She was still whispering, and, before trying anything, he leaned in a bit closer in order to hear what she was saying.

"I can't stop the bleeding, can't fix them, set them right, bring them back, but I can join them, be with them, I can see them once again –"

It was some sort of chant, a babbling full of repetition and pain, but he couldn't stop listening. Transfixed by her hysterical behaviour, he didn't notice the glint of light on metal beside her until it was too late, and the knife she'd kept hidden in her hand was embedded deep into her stomach. She coughed once, twice, and then fell to the side, a soft _thud_ marking her collapse.

"Hi...na...ta?"

This time it wasn't her scream that reverberated through the clearing.

It was his.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **Forgive me for any typos, my proof-reading today was more of a skim-reading, so there may be a couple of silly errors here and there. Also, I changed the summary, yay! Okay, sorry, please carry on – have fun reading!

* * *

As the leader of a large, thriving village, Tsunade couldn't boast having the most relaxed of mornings. Her daily schedule began with an obnoxious alarm which tore her away from the luxury of sleep just before the crack of dawn, followed by a hail-storm of ice-cold water to _really _wake her up, and then a quick bite of a cold leftovers from the fridge before she was off to her office, leaving in her wake an untidy apartment which, rather than clean itself, would only wait for her return in the evening.

Things had only grown more hectic for the Hokage when her unexpected houseguest had popped up out of nowhere, and then there was one more person to care for in her home, which essentially increased her workload, and led to the doubling of the effort she put into keeping her home presentable. Luckily for her, Gaara was as respectful a roommate as she could've hoped for; he cleaned up after himself, he always did his share of the work and even more without a single complaint, and he never complained about the lack of diversity in their meals – she couldn't have asked for anyone better. They were a good team. So good, in fact, that their dedication had turned what was once nothing more than a simple cover story into an actual proposal, a proposition which caught the ear of almost every official in both villages.

Yet even though he was a wonderful houseguest, and deserved all of his privacy, she simply did not want to let him have it. After getting to know him, and developing an unexpected friendship with him, she realised wanted to help him! It wasn't simply curiosity anymore. She didn't think it was right to mind her own business, that letting him stay with her was enough; she wanted to do more. All she needed to do was get Temari's blessing, along with the extra details she required. But two days had passed since she'd sent her letter to Temari, and she hadn't received a word in response. It had definitely arrived in Suna, so she could only assume the girl was taking her sweet time replying. The whole situation vexed her to no end, but there was nothing she could do except wait. And luckily for her, today she had forbidden herself to think about anything that could bring her stress.

At least today it would be the only thing she'd worry over. Over the last two days she and Gaara and worked hours into the night and even longer in the in the day just so that when this day came they could relax and go along their separate ways, and just enjoy the day as it when by. Both of them had wanted an entire day free to themselves, and now they had it. Tsunade had been looking forward to it so much that she'd already compiled a list of things she wanted a do; a wonderfully, nearly completely empty list. The first half of her day would consist of nothing but a sweet, dream-filled sleep, following by a delightful tea with Shizune, and of course, her favourite pastime; a bit of gambling between friends. That could go on for hours, depending on whether or not she could convince her darling friend to forget about any obligations she may or may not have for the rest of the day. But what she'd been looking forward to most of all was the deep, thoughtless slumber that awaited her.

It was going to be a lovely morning.

At least, that had been the intention.

When your body's clock is accustomed to a certain schedule, no amount of willpower can change it. Tsunade learned this the hard way, when she awoke long before the crack of dawn, with heavy, aching eyelids and a blurry conscience. Her instant reaction was to turn over, shut her eyes, and block out the world once again.

It didn't work.

No matter what position she lay in, how many pillows she had, nor even how delightfully comfortable her mattress was, nothing could get her back to sleep. She was a lost cause.

_...I should've known this would happen._

With a frustrated groan, she kicked her blankets off irritably and shuffled out of her room, unwillingly dragging her feet forward. Letting out a large yawn, she stopped midway to stretch her arms above her head, loosening her tight and unhappy muscles. _I'll make some coffee, _she sighed inwardly, sluggishly continuing on her way to prepare the drink. Sake would've been a nice option too, but with the dark mood she was in, it was smarter to avoid alcohol.

A couple of minutes later she was leaning against the sink, holding a steaming cup of coffee to her lips and enjoying the heat which spread through her with every sip. The sensation lifted her mood, along with clearing her head. And now that she could think, she could focus on the positive aspects of being awake rather than the negative; free time, free time, and more free time. For now, it was enough just to be here, enjoying the tranquillity of the morning –

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAH!"**

Complimented by the shatter of porcelain, the scream rang throughout her entire apartment, an ear-splitting cry that sent tremors down her spine.

"What the hell was that?!"

It went on for no longer than a few seconds, but to her, it was endless; as she leapt over the mess by her feet and ran down the hall, searching for the source, it continued to sound in her ears, an unwelcome siren echoing in her head. _Was it Gaara? What's happening?! _

Without a moment's hesitation she burst into his bedroom, unaware of what she was walking into.

What she saw certainly wasn't near the level of what she had been anticipating.

Illuminated by the rays of light shining through the doorway, Gaara sat hunched over in the middle of his bed, his face lowered and hidden from view by his hair, locks of which he held tightly within clenched fists, sticking out in bright red tufts between his fingers. Her eyes swivelled over the room - there were no monsters, no chaos, nothing out of the ordinary. Only the Kazekage...so why had he been screaming?

"Gaara-sama?" she called out. He didn't respond, so she took the initiative to move in closer, and kept on going until she was right beside him. "Hey. Gaara." Dropping all formalities, she crouched down beside his bed and placed a hand on his shoulder. He barely registered her presence.

_His breathing is pretty shaky, _she thought, frowning. _And he's trembling. But other than that, he looks okay. _

"Gaara," she tried again, gently shaking him.

"Huh?"

Releasing his hair from his grip, he slowly lifted his head and stared at her blankly. She waited for a spark of recognition to appear in his eyes, and when it did, it materialised along with bewilderment and a hint of embarrassment.

"T-Tsunade-sama," he stammered, fidgeting with his hands, unsure of what to do with them. "You..."

"Come with me," she commanded, standing up straight. She left it to blind faith that he would follow her orders and left the room, heading straight back to the kitchen. Avoiding the broken cup on the floor, she picked up a glass and filled it to the brim with water from the tap, finishing just as Gaara arrived. "Sit." She pointed at a nearby stool and did as he was told. Next was the water. Wordlessly, she held it out to him, and he tentatively accepted it and took a small sip.

"Let's cut right to it, shall we?" she said, taking a seat beside him. "Why were you screaming?"

"S...Screaming?"

"Don't try to act dumb. You scared the living hell out of me! What's wrong?"

"I...um...I...I..."

He couldn't even speak. He was reaching out for the right words, but they were hard to grasp. That, or he was reaching out for a lie.

"Well? Spit it out!"

"It...was just a nightmare," he said, taking a large swig from his glass.

"That must have been one hell of a nightmare," she said.

"I guess it really got to me," he laughed weakly.

_Is he trying to blow this off as nothing more than just a nightmare? _she wondered incredulously. _The way he's talking makes it sound like it's something he's used to_. What if it was?

"Do you have them often?"

"Huh?"

"Nightmares."

Her question was met by an instant response; "Not at all – it rarely happens."

This was all too familiar; the monotone, the way he shrugged off her inquiries and acted as though the matter was minor, completely inconsequential. Not to mention he refused to look her in the eye; he searched to her right, to her left, to the ground, but never once did his eyes meet her. The actions he'd once trusted to conceal his true emotions were now betraying him.

He was lying.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she inquired.

"It's alright. I've completely forgotten it now."

With one polite response he'd blocked her out completely, all the while confirming that the subject matter of his dream was something he didn't want her to know. What could he have dreamt about to make him scream like that?

Maybe it had something to do with his 'drunken' hallucination the other night.

Taking a deep breath, she exhaled and bent down, figuring she might as well clean up the broken cup. _This is absolutely pointless, _she thought, pulling out a dustpan and tiny brush. _If I don't know anything, I can't put any of it together. _Her frustration seeped into her brush strokes, and she mercilessly swept the shards into the dustpan. _What am I supposed to do? _

"When did that break?" Gaara asked, raising his head to get a look at it.

"When I dropped it."

"Oh."

"Yup."

If he could be cryptic, so could she.

"Do you know what time it is?" he asked, still watching as she tossed everything into the trash and put her brush away.

"It should be close to six," she answered. "But that's just going by my body clock." A quick peek through the curtains revealed that she was right. "The sun will be up pretty soon."

"Really? It's that late?"

"Late?" she repeated, puzzled by his words. "It's six in the morning."

"No, it's just, I mean, I hadn't realised I'd slept for so long."

It was strange how genuinely troubled he looked by this information, but his response troubled her even more. He hadn't realised he'd slept for so long? It was six! Not to mention she knew he hadn't slept that early; she'd still been awake a little before midnight, and that was when he retired to his room. Just how much sleep did he get at night, anyway? She'd never really wondered about it until now. He would always go into his room, but what then? Did he actually sleep? Or did he have more nightmares?

Tsunade wanted to press him for details, but the obvious futility of it dissuaded her completely. Instead she watched quietly as he absentmindedly ran his fingers along the rim of the glass, staring vacantly across the room. What could he see that she couldn't? Something lurked beneath his impassive air, but it made her head pound trying to figure it out.

_I give up_, she thought, rubbing her temples. _There's nothing I can do here, not unless I get the truth. But I'm not going to get it from him. _The only person who could shed some light onto the situation was Temari, and she still hadn't deigned to respond to the letter. _If I don't receive anything today, I'll just have to send her another, and another, and another until I hear back from them. _

"I think I'm going to go take a shower," she told him, getting up from her chair. "Unless you want to go first. You're going out with Hinata today, aren't you?"

"Yeah, that's right." A small smile appeared on his face, only to vanish a second later. "But it's not until much later today. I'm in no rush."

"Alright, then. Get yourself something to eat. Drink some more water."

"I will."

"And please try to get some more rest, too. Take a nap or something. It's not healthy to sleep so little."

"...Okay."

* * *

For the first time in her life, Hinata didn't know what to wear.

She hovered in front of her wardrobe clad in nothing but a towel, and her hair hung from her head in a high, messy and dripping ponytail. She'd been standing here for some time now, and occasionally she would pull out something pretty, scowl at it, and then toss it aside in favour if the next thing to catch her eye.

Ordinarily her attire took very little effort to put together. She would wake up, shower, and then literally just throw something together. It was a very simple process, one that got her through her every day activities without any trouble. However, today was different. Today she was going on a date. Her first date. Ever. Her cheeks betrayed her excitement, reddening as a million different scenarios of how the day would go played out in her head.

"Focus!" she ordered herself, snapping out of her daydream to scour through each and every article of clothing she owned, trying to find something, anything she could wear on her... her date. The corners of her lips twitched, but upon casting her faze of the pile of rejected clothing by her feet, her mouth twisted into an exasperated grimace. She pulled out a sweater, a purple and white sweater, her favourite sweater, but the sight of it only dismayed her further. How could her most beloved article of clothing suddenly have no appeal to her?

A quick glance at the clock on her wall told her she was running out of time. She'd promised to meet him at the compound's gates around noon, and she wasn't even dressed yet! She should have anticipated something like this happening. Why hadn't she just prepared an outfit the night before? Damn it. Biting down her lip, she scanned the pile of clothes once again, hoping that something would jump out at her screaming "Pick me! You want to wear me!"

Nothing did. _Agh, forget it! _she screamed at herself, _there's no time for this! _With a new, frenzied edge to her movements, she dove into her wardrobe once again, her objective revised to going along with her usual strategy of grabbing whatever she found first. This time she emerged successful, with a pair of slim, pale blue jeans, a black tank top and on oversized gray sweater. Well, it was better than nothing. First the general necessities were addressed; her bra, underwear, another glance at the clock, another miniature panic attack, and a second wasted on getting her breathing back to normal. Once she had calmed herself, all the rest came on. Within record time she was completely dressed and twirling in front of her mirror, tugging and pulling at her clothes; her sweater would occasionally slip down her shoulder, revealing the strap of the tank top beneath, and it took a while of adjustment before she was happy with it. Brushing her fringe out of her eyes, she inspected her hair; should she let it down, or leave it up?

_What about make-up? _Hinata wondered, leering at her reflection. _Should I put some on? _This new matter at hand completely distracted her from the old. One the one hand, there was a desire in her to look as pretty as possible, but on the other hand, she'd never actually applied make-up on her own; it was only during the events she'd been allowed to attend that she'd ever used any, and even then it had never been by her own hands, it was always the servants who painted it on for her. She would've deliberated on it longer, but all of a sudden she became aware of the familiar _tick-tock_ of her clock, and with a start she realised that somewhere along her deliberations she'd lost track of time once again, and she had only another minute to go before he would be here.

"One minute?!" she exclaimed. "I haven't even put my shoes on yet!" Slipping into the first pair her eyes landed on – the black sneakers she normally wore during her jogs – and bounded out of her room. Gaily skipping down the stairs and nearly tripping at the last two, she would've sprinted right out of that house had it not been for the figure beside the staircase.

"Where are you going?"

Her father's inquiry stopped her in her tracks. Hiashi stood behind the banister, wearing an impassive expression. She'd gone right past him without even noticing that he was there. Crap.

"Well?" he asked, tapping his finger against his forearm impatiently.

"I'm going to have lunch with Gaara-sama."

"Oh, really? And when did you arrange this?"

Wait – hadn't she told him about it? She'd definitely told Neji, but surely at some point during the past two days she'd mentioned it to her father. Right? Hadn't she?! _No. Oh no. Crap. Crap crap crap! _She hadn't told him a thing! How would he react? Was he angry? She couldn't see anything past the indifferent gaze he bestowed upon her.

"I ran into him the other day. He wanted to thank me for the tour of the village, and we made arrangements to meet today."

"Hm." He didn't seem displeased, but then again, she'd never been able to read beneath his mask. "And what about your training?"

"I-I have a make-up session with Neji tomorrow," she said.

"Good. It seems that you're not doing a bad job. However, in the future I expect to be promptly informed of any and all arrangements with him. Is that understood?"

"U-understood."

Satisfied, he turned around and walked away, leaving her to deal with her mixed feelings. On the one hand, she was elated; her father had actually just _praised _her! But on the other hand, their abrupt conversation had unnerved her. _Was I...supposed to tell him it was a date? _That wasn't necessary, was it? All he was interested in was her developing connections with the Kazekage; it didn't necessarily matter what kind of relations were being developed, did it? _If I really have to, I can tell him when I get home and...oh crap, I'm late!_

* * *

_Just don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't you dare think about it._

With every stop he took, these words echoed in Gaara's head, a warning against any sort of reminiscence of the night before, and, ironically, an unfriendly reminder of what he was so desperately trying to forget.

But it was there, lurking and writhing in the back of his mind, demanding it have his utmost attention. Every time he felt it creeping forward he would focus on something else; the scuff of his sneakers against the road; the light thump of the small pouch of sand against his hip; the weightlessness of his body without his official robes and gourd, and how odd it felt to be wearing clothing as casual and light as a crimson shirt and beige trousers. He tried to concentrate on the chatter of passersby, on which buildings they may enter, on what they might be doing there, what they might be thinking...he came up with a million possibilities of the things he could actually allow himself to think about.

More than anything he tried not to think about her.

_Don't you think that's a bit redundant? _Shukaku asked in a derisive tone. _You're going to be spending your entire day with her. _

_If you know what's good for you, you won't speak, _Gaara said, already growing tired of the voice's presence.

_Or you'll do what? _It replied eagerly. _Tell me, will you? I really want to hear this._

Its cockiness drove him crazy, but at the same time, way deep down in the rational part of himself which he loathed the most, he knew Shukaku was right. At the most, all he would be able to do was suppress it, but even that had a tendency to fail miserable.

He had no strategy, no game plan, nothing to get him through this day in peace. He didn't want to be dreading it; he wanted nothing more than to be willing, impatient, raring to go, but after last night he simply didn't have the energy.

Even now, as he walked along these perfectly intact streets and their perfectly intact people, the image felt as though it were nothing more than a fragile illusion – one wrong move and it was sure to shatter. Thank god the place where...the place where she had...stabbed...that place...that horrible place...it wasn't real. It wasn't any real place. It didn't exist at all, and so he was safe from it.

_You have to see her, though. Think you can handle that, o mighty Kazekage?_

...

He couldn't answer. The question had been rhetorical, intended simply to ridicule, yet it hit him hard all the same. Could he handle it?

If he was with her, would he be sucked back into the nightmare once again? He couldn't go through that. He didn't want to see what his dream-self had done to her, to her friends and her home. He didn't want to relive those few seconds where the blade slipped neatly into her stomach, and a tiny trickle of blood seeped out from the corner of her mouth. Those few seconds where she'd taken her own life. All because of him.

He'd been powerless. He couldn't stop it. But it was a dream. Just a dream. No matter how terrible it was, it was nothing more than a fantasy of Shukaku's.

_Are you so confident you can resist me? _The voice asked. _Sooner or later you're just going to have to accept the fact that you're still the same bloodthirsty monster you were three years ago. I'm only here to help you see that. And she's the perfect way to show you._

_I won't let anything happen to her, _Gaara thought determinedly, hoping the sheer force of these words would make up for the fear he hid beneath it. He knew that being with her today would be hard. No matter how strongly he tried to keep the images down, they would all bubble to the surface eventually; her terrified stare, his cruel destruction, her untimely demise – nothing would be left out. He would have to relive every single minute of his nightmare.

"Gaara-sama!"

Blinking rapidly, he realised that he'd reached the gates of the Hyuuga compound, and Hinata was jogging out from her house and waving at him, carrying with her a bright and cheerful aura that completely diminished his own despondent air.

It was in that exact moment that he realised he wouldn't have a problem today. There was a reason he so enjoyed spending time with her. Even with the voice whispering away in his head, she had a way of distracting him from everything.

Hinata made him forget.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** An early update! Huzzah! Enjoy, my lovely readers! [and, as always, thank you for the reviews and the alerts and just for reading this story c:]

* * *

"What can I get you kids?"

"We'll both have the miso ramen, please."

"Two orders coming right up!"

Hinata gave the owner a grateful smile as he turned away to prepare their meal, and twisted in her seat to look around the restaurant, which was completely devoid of life. Well, it was to be expected; it was quite a while past noon, and most of the villagers had finished their lunches long ago. Outside there were just a few people milling about and enjoying the afternoon sun, but apart from that there wasn't much to see, and it didn't take long for her gaze to make its way over to the red-haired boy sitting beside her. Even though they'd already ordered, his focus was still on the menu, the letters reflected in his bright green eyes. Every so often a light breeze would flutter into the restaurant and play with his hair, tugging the long strands away from his face long enough for her to see the tattoo etched into his forehead before it was hidden away once again. She thought about starting a conversation, but immediately decided against it, content with watching him in silence. In the beginning, when she'd first run up to him outside her gate, she'd thought she'd seen a flash of something dark in his eyes, a shadow lurking beneath the surface of a glittering ocean, but the instant their eyes met it passed, and a small smile had come to his face, one that brought butterflies to life in her stomach. She couldn't help but feel rather elated, simply because he had looked happy to see her. It had made her happy.

_I still can't believe I'm here. On a date. With him! _Drumming her fingers across the countertop, she took a deep breath, trying to keep calm. It was a hard feat to pull off; she'd never been so self-aware in her life! Her heart was a hammer pounding against her ribcage, every beat pulsing in her ears, and the butterflies just wouldn't stop their incessant fluttering. She was a bundle of nerves, and he was the complete opposite. He was the epitome of composure, betraying no sign of anxiety, but then again, hadn't she expected that? He wasn't the open book that she was. She opened her mouth, gripped with the sudden desire to speak, to even ask him what he was thinking, but the words felt thick in her mouth, and nothing she could think of seemed eloquent enough to say.

"This is a nice place," Gaara commented, breaking through her trance. "It's very cosy."

She nodded in agreement. "Even though it's small, it's a very good restaurant," she said.

"So I've heard – Tsunade-sama was the one who told me about it," he said.

"She did?"

"Yeah; I asked her for some recommendations for today, and this was one of the places on her list. 'Ichiraku Ramen, you can't miss it'. She was right about that, too. The only reason I chose it was because I actually knew where it was," he admitted sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "I had a horrible feeling if I tried to take you somewhere else I'd only end up getting us lost."

"I could've guided us back, though."

"...Ah. Well you see, up until this moment I hadn't actually considered that."

A tiny giggle found its way out of her lips, and just like that her anxiety began to melt away, calming her heart and loosening the tension in her limbs.

"You look lovely, by the way," he said suddenly, his words acting as the spark which lit the flames in her cheeks.

"E-eh?"

"I especially like your hair; when it's up like this I can see your eyes a lot better."

"A-ah, um, thank you," she stammered, unable to hide her embarrassment. The butterflies were going crazy! Why was she so easily affected by his words? "Y-you look really nice today as well. I was kind of surprised to see you dressed so casually." Her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth. "I m-mean, not that i-it's a bad thing, it's just different, and I mean that in a good way – not that your normal clothing isn't nice, it is, I mean..." she fell silent, unsure of how to carry on without making an even bigger fool of herself. "I'm sorry, I didn't –"

"It's alright," he said. Incredibly, he didn't seem the least bit offended. In fact, he was actually chuckling, and she could see the amusement as clear as day on his face.

"I-it's not that funny!" she complained indignantly, twiddling her thumbs.

"Of course, of course," he said. He swivelled round in his chair so that he faced her directly. "I'm sorry. You're right. It's not funny at all." Even though he said this reassuringly, the smile never left his eyes, but she didn't mind so much anymore. "If it helps, I'm not used to it either. I haven't been out on something so unofficial in a long time."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I've never had any free time. Nor the incentive to find some."

"I c-can understand; I've spent s-so much time concentrating on my training that I can't remember the last time I went out."

"That doesn't surprise me – you told me yourself that you're going after your dream. Becoming stronger takes a lot of dedication."

_He remembers? _Even though she merely nodded in response, she was unable to hide the delight she'd received from his comment. She's never expected him to remember what she had told him. Then again, she hadn't expected him to ask her on a date, either. He was constantly shattering her expectations.

And she liked that.

Their talk was cut short as the food finally arrived, two steaming bowls of ramen which gave off a rich, delicious aroma.

"That smells amazing," Gaara said, immediately going for his chopsticks.

"It tastes amazing, too," Hinata replied. She watched him take his first bite and then mimicked his actions, starting on her own food.

They fell quite as they ate, both their minds occupied by some distraction or another. She would sneak a glance at him from time to time, wondering if she should say something, and what she could say. Yet, ironically enough, she felt no need to fill the silence at all; in fact, it was rather comfortable. All the same, she was curious. What was going to happen after this? Would the date just end? She'd assumed it would just be a lunch, but was there a possibility he'd take her somewhere else?

She really wanted him to.

"Eh? Hinata? Gaara?!"

She froze, her ramen hanging limply in the air before her. No way. She hadn't just heard that voice, right? That wasn't him. It couldn't be him. The urge to turn her head was strong, but she refrained from looking back, afraid that she was right. He was out on a mission. There was no way he was here –

"Naruto?!"

_He is here! _She screamed internally, attempting to imitate Gaara's usual calm as she looked in his direction. The blonde jinchuriki wore the same large, jovial grin she was so used to seeing, and the air he carried with him was as cheerful as ever. "N-naruto-kun! You're back!" She couldn't help the elated tone of her voice; she hadn't seen him in ages, and here he was!

"From an incredibly successful mission!" he said cheerfully, patting her shoulder. "And I'm starving, too!" He waved at the man behind the counter, who needed no more than that gesture to start whipping up something for his favourite customer. "It's good to be back! And even better to see you here, Gaara! Why aren't you in Suna?"

"I have business here with Tsunade-sama," he explained as Naruto dragged an empty stool away from the counter to sit between the pair.

"I'm happy to see you again!" Naruto said, clapping his hand against Gaara's back. "Hey, is it your first time in this restaurant? It's amazing, isn't it? My favourite place!"

The two continued chatting away, unconscious of the uncomfortable girl hastily digging into her meal. _How am I supposed to feel about this?! _she asked herself, stuffing a large bite of noodles into her mouth, if only to have an excuse not to speak. Of all the people in the entire village to show up in the middle of the date, it just had to be her long-time unrequited crush! What had she done to the universe for it to act so cruelly towards her?

She glance at Naruto through her peripheral vision, and felt that familiar attraction she'd always felt towards him, the adoration she'd held close to her heart for the longest time possible. His face lit up as he laughed at some senseless remark he'd made, and with it she could feel her spirits rising. Why?! Why was she letting herself feel this way now?! It wasn't fair to Gaara – if she still felt so strongly about the blonde, why had she ever agreed to this whole thing in the first place?

This was absolutely insane. The sheer discomfort of it all made her squirm in her seat, and she half-deliberated making an excuse to get out of there straight away. But she couldn't do that. It was too rude a gesture no matter which way she looked at it. Then she would have to stay; somehow, this decision didn't dishearten her much, but was that because she was on a date, or because Naruto was here? What was she supposed to do?! _Just stay calm. Breathe._ It was fortunate for her that they were completely engrossed in their discussion, otherwise there would have been a chance of them noticing her internal struggle.

"Hinata!" Naruto said, nearly causing her to leap three feet out of her stool.

"Y-y-yes?!"

"How are you? You're being really quiet, you know."

"I'm f-f-fine!" she replied quickly. "S-so, your mission went well?"

"We kicked ass," he bragged. "I think a lot of people are mad at us for snagging it – I ran into Kiba on the way here and he nearly bit my head off warning me to stay out of the way next time."

"E-everyone's a little stir crazy," she said apologetically.

"I don't blame them at all," he said, ogling their food with a ravenous gleam in his eye. "Nothing good has come up in ages. So, what brings you guys here?"

_Do we tell him? Am I supposed to tell him? Do I want him to know? What do I do?!_

"We're on a date."

Hinata choked on her food, and nearly descended into a full-out coughing fit. Gaara had said it so blatantly that it had taken her aback, as though she was also hearing it for the first time. He hadn't given her any time to think! Naruto's reaction was just as dramatic; he gaped at the pair in shock, his eyes going back and forth between the two so many times she half-expected them to pop right out of their sockets. "Seriously?!"

Gaara nodded, and Hinata managed a small one of her own, still attempting to clear her throat. It took Naruto a minute to process the information, and then another minute to realise exactly how he was encroaching upon them. As soon as he did, he immediately shot out of his stool and returned to its original position.

"You should've told me right from the beginning!" he scolded them, wagging his finger at the pair. "I wouldn't have interrupted like this if I had known!"

"I-it's okay," Hinata tried to say, but he held his hand up and cut her off.

"Not another word! I'm getting out of your way right now!" She opened her mouth to object, but he interrupted her once again. "Sakura-chan is meeting me here in few minutes, anyway."

"Ah, of course," she said.

"Well, it was good to finally see you," Gaara added.

"And you! Don't be a stranger while you're here!" Winking at Hinata, he gave the two a knowing smirk and moved over to the other end of the counter; a futile action, really, as it only made a few seat's difference, and it didn't once prevent the occasional glances he threw in their direction.

The two exchanged a look before going back to their meals, both preoccupied with their own thoughts. Well, at least, one of them was. Hinata didn't know what to think; she was still fixated on Naruto's reaction. The blonde had found out that was on a date, but apart from being astonished by the news, he hadn't responded in any other way.

It was slightly disappointing.

But then again, had she really expected anything more?

She snuck a peek toward Naruto's side of the bar, and found that somehow during the last two minutes she'd missed the entrance of his pink-haired teammate, who was gawking in their direction and muttering something sideways to him. Clearly he had relayed the circumstances of their presence to her.

"...They're staring at us." She didn't realise she'd made the observation aloud until Gaara spoke.

"Apparently we're a fascinating subject," he remarked, tapping the rim of his bowl with his chopsticks.

"Well, it is news to them, I guess..." she tried, hoping that thinking about it rationally would make it less awkward. It didn't help. She could practically feel their stares boring holes into the back of her head.

"I think they're waiting for something," he said.

"Yeah..." Her eyes swivelled left and right as she desperately searched for something to take her mind off her audience. Unsurprisingly, this dull tactic brought about no results.

"Are you alright?" Gaara asked.

"Huh?"

"They don't bother me much, to be honest, but if it's making you uncomfortable then just say the word and we'll leave."

"No, no, it's not that bad," she lied, plastering an encouraging smile on her face.

Now she could hear them whispering.

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yeah...it's okay."

"Okay, then." He sounded unconvinced, but he didn't press the matter any further, and resumed eating. With a sigh, Hinata took another bite, and resisted the craving to glace back once again. Since he'd arrived, Naruto had become a dominant presence in her mind. Why had he and Sakura come here anyway? Well, actually, that was obvious; not a day went by when he wasn't in this restaurant. Not to mention they usually tended to eat together. They could've been here simply to have an innocent, celebratory lunch, or even something more, yet they were so captivated by her and Gaara that it looked like they'd completely forgotten about their original plans. Why couldn't they have showed up an hour later?

This was all Karma's doing. Her guiding hands had led them here; somehow Hinata had made the universe angry, and this was her punishment.

"Are they still watching us?"

Gaara straightened up in his seat and casually glanced over her head. "Yes, they are." He dropped his chopsticks into his bowl, his ramen still unfinished, and placed a handful of money onto the counter. "Let's go." Without any sort of warning, he took her hand.

"W-what are y-you d-doing?!" she stuttered, squeaking out the last word.

"Taking advantage of the situation," he said nonchalantly, slipping his fingers in between hers. "Come on."

_Eh?! _"H-h-hang o-on!"

Apparently oblivious to her incoherent protests, he pulled the stuttering girl off of her stool. From the other end of the counter there was a gasp, and then a bout of animated chatter followed, one which prompted her to go along with the Kazekage willingly. She allowed him to lead her out of the restaurant and down the deserted street, her gaze fixed not on the road before them but on their interlocked fingers. He walked with a confident stride, and she followed with her own clumsy gait, trying her hardest not to accidently trip over her own feet.

_He's not letting go,_ she thought, unconsciously squeezing his hand a little tighter. The feeling was so unfamiliar. She'd never actually held hands with anyone before.

"Sorry I yanked you out here without saying anything," he said, bringing her out of her reverie. He'd slowed his pace to match hers, and they wandered aimlessly down the pavement, neither of them quite aware of the direction they were heading in, nor their destination. "You just looked like you were uncomfortable in there."

"I-it's okay," she reassured him, gracing him with a small smile. "I understand."

"Then you admit it?" he asked, staring her down. "You were uncomfortable."

"J-just a little bit..."

"Was it because of Naruto?" She flinched at her crush's name. "After he showed up, you were distracted the entire time."

_He noticed...damn it. _This wasn't good. Her stomach was knotted with guilt, and there was a pressure in her chest which just wouldn't go away. It really wasn't fair to him, was it? She was supposed to have been on a date with him, yet half the time she'd been wrapped up in her contemplations of the blonde, and of her own emotions. Because of her, it had come to an early end. She owed him the truth. Even if she'd rather not say anything at all.

"I...I don't want to lie," she murmured, lowering her eyes to the ground.

"Then don't." They came to a halt, and he looked at her expectantly.

_Just say it! _"I...I have a crush on him!" she confessed loudly. Peering through her eyelashes, she tried to get a glimpse of his expression without being too obvious about it; it was hard to tell, but from what she could see, he wore no visible reaction. Even so, she felt the slight change in the way he gripped her hand, and somehow this indication spurred her to continue. "I've a-always had a crush on him. For a really long time."

The silence was deafening. Her initial guilt had faded to nothing with her confession, but the pressure was still there in her chest, and she had no idea why.

"...I see," he said finally, scratching his head with his free hand. "Yet you still agreed to come out with me today."

"Y-yeah," she admitted, unable to look him in the eye. Why had she accepted? It wasn't like her feelings for Naruto had simply vanished during those few seconds she'd needed to agree to this date, and she certainly wasn't the type of person to lead someone on.

Why was she here?

"He's a lucky guy," he sighed. "I'm jealous."

"Y-you're j-jealous?"

"Of course I am." Once again he was being so honest, so absolutely blatant about it that her heart couldn't help but palpitate. "Konoha became a lot more interesting the day I met you. And I never expected to fall for you, you know. It just happened. You have something I just can't explain, something that draws me to you." Each statement made her heart pound just a little faster, and the pressure just kept on increasing. "You're incredible, Hinata."

_Thump thump thump_ went her heart against her ribcage. "I guess I should let you go now," he said, loosening his hold on her fingers. Her body automatically reacted to the motion; she clung on to him, unwilling to let go, yet completely incapable of comprehending why.

What was going on with her? _Why won't I let him go? _she asked herself, furrowing her brow. She didn't understand – she had literally _just _told him that she had feelings for someone else, yet here she was, clutching him in an iron grasp, forcing him to remain beside her.

"...Hinata?" he said, his voice tainted with confusion.

"..."

"You're still holding my hand."

"...I know."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure."

"You're not sure?"

She shrugged, just as puzzled as he was going on with her?! While everything she'd said had been true, she must've been holding something back, because that something was keeping her fingers wrapped around his, effectively trapping him in her grip.

Something brushed against her other hand, and it took her a minute to register that he'd taken her other hand in his own.

"Why are you keeping me here?" he asked, leaning in slightly.

"I don't know," she said in exasperation, fed up with her failed efforts.

"Really?" he leaned in even closer, until they were so close that their foreheads lightly bumped against each other. "You really don't know?"

"I d-d-don't," she stuttered breathlessly, overwhelmed by his proximity to her.

"Is it because you want me to stay?"

All she could do was shrug, simply unable to decipher what her body was trying to tell her. Her throat was parched, her pupils dilated; she had gone from being somewhat sure of herself to utterly perplexed in nothing more than a minute.

"Would you mind...if I kissed you now?" His quiet question made her heart stutter once again. She couldn't answer – she had no answer, she wasn't sure of what she wanted anymore, or even of what she was thinking. "...I apologize for this, then."

With only that warning to inform her of what was coming next, his lips met hers, and everything was lost to her in a haze of touch; as his mouth moved against hers she felt his fingers flex around hers, tightening and relaxing with each passing second, and she slowly became conscious of the fact that he was gently tugging her closer and closer, until there was no more reason to pull. They were pressed tightly together, their clasped hands wedged between them, the only thing keeping them apart.

After a few seconds he drew away from her, though he still kept her in his grip. Hinata's normally pale complexion had taken on a colour resembling that of his hair, and she could see the turmoil in her eyes as she fought a battle within herself.

_He kissed you! Without permission!_

_I couldn't answer him – _

_He just took the initiative! It's rude! Completely out of line!_

_He did apologize though. _

_But you like Naruto!_

_But..._

_But what?!_

_But I also liked that kiss._


End file.
